


Currere Sex

by majortom



Series: Currere Sex [1]
Category: Fallout: New Vegas
Genre: DLCs, Dialogue Heavy, Gen, Legion Victory, Sexism, Slight Canon Divergences, Sneering Imperialist, implied brutality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-10
Updated: 2015-06-05
Packaged: 2018-03-11 14:01:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 33,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3328973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/majortom/pseuds/majortom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After helping the Legion to victory, a female Courier finds that Caesar's limited respect doesn't count for much in a male-dominated society. But she's not the only one unhappy with the status quo, and Vulpes Inculta has a secret.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Crossing the Rubicon

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction (in the Fallout verse) and I feel like it's mainly one huge dialogue tree. I would adore constructive criticism.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first fanfic (in the Fallout 'verse) and I feel like it's mainly one huge dialogue tree. I would adore constructive criticism.

 

The wind off the Colorado whipped through her hair as Courier Six stood tall near the edge of Hoover Dam. Victory and the cool breeze tempered the heat of the battle, a heat that only now started to abate. She had won. She checked herself; the Legion had won. She had assisted. In, if she permitted herself the indulgent thought, indispensable ways. She glanced to her right at the proud figures next to her. Aurelius of Phoenix, Vulpes Inculta, and the Legate Lanius, who was standing behind Caesar himself. On the far side of Caesar was Lucius, the leader of Praetorians and her future boss, if all went well.

"Ave, legionaries!" Caesar's voice echoed off the ravine walls, met with a deafening cheer. "Mars has seen fit to bathe us in the blood of our enemies. The river runs red today!"

Six remained stoic, as did the others lined up next to her. They were separate, picked out for special honors, and they would receive them with dignity.

"Ave, Lanius." Caesar came to stand in front of the Legate. "You have shown great bravery today, as you do all days, of course. For your success in taking Hoover Dam I will have a new helmet forged for you, steel plated with gold, so all that may come against you will see the shine in the eyes of Mars for miles."

Caesar stepped to the next man.

"And Vulpes. Able leader of my Frumentarii. Without your, shall we say, particular acumen, we would have been fighting in the dark. As it is you gathered exceptional amounts of intelligence and at the same time struck the fear of the Gods into every profligate to hear the name Legion. Among certain other tasks, of course." Vulpes smirked slightly. "You will have first pick of the slaves. I know how you like those NCR Rangers."

"It is rewarding to watch them break, my Lord."

"Indeed. Aurelius, one of my finest Centurions. You performed admirably running the forward camp at Cottonwood. Some forget that a war is not won by strength of the sword alone, but by strategy and coordination and support. That's not to say you aren't a warrior. How many of those dogs' tags did you collect today?"

"Sixty-seven, Lord Caesar."

"I dare anyone with a higher number come forward!" Caesar laughed. Lanius shifted on his feet. If he had a higher number, Six didn't doubt that the Legate would have spoken up, but as he remained silent it seemed he was just upset that Aurelius had beat him. "For your faithful service I give you first pick of the weapons."

"Thank you, Lord Caesar."

Finally, her leader stepped in front of her. "Now, many of you have seen this little girl running around the camp. You heeded my warning about mistaking her for a profligate! Good men. She has performed many tasks for us, many that have given us an advantage this day. And for that I thank her. In remembrance of all she did for the Legion I present her with the first Sesterius." He took a bronze coin from his pocket and tossed it to her. She caught it, startled. "In her honor, it will be a value of six Sesterii to one Denarius. This coin will first be distributed, one per person, throughout the wasteland as a symbol of the riches we will gain from this new territory. It will be a new value in our currency as this land will be a boon to our Legion. Legion in aeternum! Legion forever!"

Whatever response Six might have made would have been lost in the roar of victory.

\--

The legionaries were celebrating long into the night. There was a centurium standing guard at the Dam, but Six, and everyone else, knew there would be no offensive from the NCR. They had thrown everything they had into this battle and had lost over two thirds of all their men. They would be retreating far west of Vegas and would be a long time coming back to the Mojave, if ever.

The courier, however, had retired to a makeshift bunk in the quietest room she could find. She turned the coin over in her hands. She hadn't been sure at first, but there was a mirror in one of the bathrooms that was clean enough to see her reflection in. It was her. It said Currere Sex. She turned it over. Caesar, and the words Fortitudo Aeternum. An incredible honor, she knew. How did he even have it so quickly? He must have had it made before the battle. If she had fallen, would he have released anyway, it in her memory? She felt full to bursting. Well, mostly. She would have equally liked a more traditional gift. First choice weapon was good. First slave was a high honor. She didn't particularly want one, but it was the thought that counted. Or perhaps... an honorary induction into the Praetorians, she thought, then chided herself. That wasn't how the Praetorians worked. She knew what she had to do to receive that honor. She felt entirely ungrateful. The others probably wished they had received something like this. Their face on money, who wouldn't love that?

And she only needed five more of them to equal one Denarius. It was worth less than a bottle cap. She could go back to the press in the Sarsaparilla Headquarters, hammer her face flat, and it would be worth more. Well. Not for long. Very soon, no one would use bottlecaps in the Mojave anymore.

\---

She couldn't sleep. The Denacii were being uncharacteristically lenient after the victory, but even if the legionaries weren't making so much noise she doubted rest would find her. She made her way to the top of the Dam, where at least it was quiet. The risk of attack was infinitesimal, but out in the open the Legion were still disciplined. She saw shadows marking sentries, but they were still. The sky was lightening; it would be dawn soon. She tried to capture the peace she felt after the battle. 

A voice startled her. "Courier. You look lost."

She turned. Vulpes Inculta. The first Legion member she had ever met. How fitting he would be here. She looked back across the water. "You can just call me Six. I'm not a courier anymore."

"So you aren't. What are you, I wonder?" Silence stretched between them. "I suppose you don't even know."

Six bristled. "Don't you have a Ranger to be getting back to?"

"She'll keep," he responded, watching her carefully. "Does it not bother you, imagining what I am going to do to her?"

She shrugged. "The fate of an NCR dog means nothing to me." He continued staring at her. Her skin prickled. "I don't care to imagine it, though."

Vulpes smiled. "I have been waiting for this moment for a long time."

"The moment where you get to go rape your Ranger?"

He walked to the edge and leaned on the low wall next to her. "The moment when you realize you have more in common with my Ranger than you do with any man wearing red."

She wasn't looking at him, but she still turned her head away. She didn't want him to see her cheeks redden. A sign of anger, taken by men as a sign of embarrassment.

"How dare you. I have been honored today, as you have, by Caesar himself. And yet you question my allegiance."

"How could I not?"

"After all I have done--"

"All you have done makes no sense," he interrupted. "This is the only thing that does. That is why I knew it would come."

She turned to him now. "I fight for the Legion. I do as my Lord --"

"Exactly. You fight for the Legion." He looked her up and down slowly.

"And?"

"Don't play the stupid profligate with me," he said coldly. She opened her mouth angrily, but he cut her off. "I remember Nipton. I remember a girl whose eyes went wide seeing crucified bodies. That was the first time you surprised me. Young girl, scared expression. Yet the words you said to me were strong. Like a recruit. Not accustomed to the sight, but accepting of the truth. Of course, you did not know the whole truth then, did you?"

"And what is that, then?"

"Oh, you know it now. In Nipton you saw something larger than yourself. You saw strength. You saw justice, pure and true. You saw the corruption of the wasteland, and the fact that it can be stopped. But soon after, I imagine, you realized what you never saw."

"I'm tiring of this circular conversation, Vulpes."

"You never saw a woman in Legion armor."

"I guess I'm the first," she said. His eyes narrowed. "Figuratively," she added, very aware of the mercenary outfit she was wearing. They had never given her her own armor. There had been a few sets in the safe house, but they hadn't fit.

He was right, though. Of course he was right. The first time, she hadn't thought anything of it. Well, you didn't judge an army based on one small group of soldiers. But it didn't take long for her to learn what the Legion's stance was. Still, she had gone to Caesar when summoned. Her curiosity and her memory of Vulpes at Nipton were too much to deny. And he hadn't cared that she was a woman. It was almost enough to make her forget the rest of them.

"I heard some things, obviously. But clearly it isn't that bad if Caesar had you deliver the Mark to me," she said.

"Caesar needed someone who could get into the Lucky 38--"

She stepped closer to him, invading his space. An obvious play for dominance, but she didn't care. "The Lord Caesar never said a single word to me about being a woman. He assigned me tasks and expected me to carry them out. And I did. Very well. And he honored me today. Put my face on money so everyone could see it. He clearly has no problem with me."

"With you? No. He recognizes all you have done. You had... advantages, as a Dissolute--"

"Don't call me that," she snapped.

Vulpes cocked his head to the side. "But that's what you are. There are no women Legionaries."

She stepped back and looked away. "You need women. You can't have a society of just men."

"Obviously. We have many slaves. Some of us have wives back in Flagstaff. Understand, of course, that the term 'wife' does not mean 'equal'. Then are women that live what you would consider normal lives under Legion rule. But they are not Legion themselves. They and their ilk are called the Dissolute. Civilized towns that have been incorporated by the Legion do not get enslaved." Vulpes smiled wide, showing his teeth. "We're not monsters."

"Well. I'm not a slave. I'm not a wife. And I'm not Dissolute. So don't call me that."

"Why do you want so desperately to be part of something that despises you? Do you want to be special? The only female legionary? A living legend?"

Six didn't respond right away, and the two faded into silence. They looked toward the East as the dawn broke.

"Caesar's opinion is all that matters. And honestly," she said quietly, with a small smile, "I think once you're on the money, you are a bit of a legend. Enjoy your Ranger, Vulpes."

She turned and went back down into the Dam. She had spent enough time wandering up top that she didn't remember the way to the room she had been in previously. Not that it mattered. She had only wanted to escape Vulpes and his probing conversation. Any empty room with a mat would do.

Before she could find one, however, she ran into a group of legionaries in the hallway. Three recruits, by the look of them. And drunk, by the smell.

"Hey, man, it's that chick!" Clearly new recruits. Dirty tribals, not yet assimilated to Legion culture. They had probably found alcohol left from the NCR troops and instead of turning it in or dumping it out like a true Legionary, they kept it for themselves.

"My name is Six," she said sternly. "And who is your Denacus?"

"Your name is sex? I'll say," said another.

Six's eyes narrowed. "You are clearly drunk. And if you don't want to end up on a cross tomorrow I suggest you tell me who your Denacus is."

"Come on, now, baby, we won! Hows about we end the night with another bang?"

She shot her palm up into the first man's nose, hearing a crunch. The blood indicated she had broken his nose, but she felt as though she had broken her wrist as well. She was never that good at unarmed fighting, and she had left her machete in the other room.

The other two laughed and moved forward as the first stumbled back. She walked backwards slowly with her hands up in front of her, the right one throbbing painfully.

"Stupid bitch. Grab her!"

Her back came against a wall and she realized she'd missed the turn for the stairs. She was in a corner.

The two uninjured recruits came forward. She managed to get a few solid hits in, ignoring the pain and probable damage she was doing to her hand, but they caught her at the wrists. She kicked out and connected with a shin, but their hold on her barely weakened. The first recruit, blood streaming down his face, approached and tried to catch her legs. She got another kick in, right on his injured nose. He howled, but leapt forward and pinned her legs to the ground. "You'll pay for that," he said.

He sat, straddling her legs. She tried to buck him off, but he was too heavy and with the other two holding her arms she had no leverage. They pushed her down on the ground and began kicking her in the stomach, the ribs, the kidney, the head. She instinctively tried to curl up into a ball. At least if they were beating the shit out of her they weren't doing anything else. Yet.

After what was an interminable amount of time, a shot rang out in the hallway. Then another. Two bodies thumped down next to her.

"You saw this person being honored by Caesar this morning, so you thought good sport for the evening would be beating her?"

If Six were more conscious she would probably have been upset that she just got rescued like a damned damsel by Vulpes Inculta.

\---

When she woke up, she looked around blearily. Everything hurt. After her vision had cleared a bit, Six recognized that she was in a medical tent. Sheets separating beds. A table with a doctor's bag and assorted medical supplies. Man in a lab coat. And then her eyes settled on a face. Not a particularly happy one, either.

"Courier."

"Nng. Arcade."


	2. Inculta

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter is super dialogue heavy. Sorry :/ Once I've got the whole thing written I'll hopefully go back over everything and rework it.

 

When she woke up, she looked around blearily. Everything hurt. After her vision had cleared a bit, Six recognized that she was in a medical tent. Sheets separating beds. A table with a doctor's bag and assorted medical supplies. Man in a lab coat. And then her eyes settled on a face. Not a particularly happy one, either.

"Courier."

"Nng. Arcade."

"Looks like you got the shit kicked out of you."

"Seems like."

"That's pretty good."

"Why are you still alive?" she groaned.

Arcade scoffed. "That's what I get. Typical. No 'thank you, Arcade, for fixing me up again,' no 'sorry, Arcade, for lying to you and selling you into slavery to become a plaything in hands of your worst nightmare.'"

"Can you not snark at me so early in the morning?"

"It's either this or a lethal dose of Med-X."

"That sounds infinitely preferable."

"You're telling me. But unfortunately your injuries aren't serious enough that death would be a realistic outcome, and if I kill Caesar's little protégé I don't think he'd be too happy with me. Or that Vulpes creep."

"Why would he be mad at Vulpes?"

Arcade gave her a look of disgust. "I can't believe I ever thought you were even the tiniest bit intelligent."

"Sorry. I'm not at my best when concussed."

"That's not what I meant."

"I know."

"I hate you."

"I know."

Six wanted to leave as soon as possible, but Arcade made it very clear that she was supposed to stay, "And I'll be damned if I'm going to get in trouble because you couldn't follow orders." Not that she needed the warning. If Caesar wanted her to stay here, she would. The waiting was hard, though. Especially since she couldn't ask Arcade for any Med-X. He'd already made it quite clear that as the Legion didn't generally use chems she was shit out of luck if she though he was going to waste one drop on her traitorous ass, and didn't it suck and wasn't it better back when they were friends.

It did indeed suck. She wasn't used to healing without them, and it was more painful than she would have expected.

"Can you at least tell me what the damage is so I won't feel so bad about feeling so bad?"

"I'm not going to tell you shit."

"C'mon, Arcade. I thought you were a doctor first."

"And I thought you were a decent human being. Honestly. When they brought you in here I can't say I was shocked. Caesar has been using me as his personal doctor, giving my services to certain people he deems important and injured enough. I knew you'd turn up eventually. You get yourself injured so often I thought it would be sooner. But I am astounded that you sold me into slavery, then think that you can talk to me like we're still traveling together."

She sat up and looked at him for the first time. A small feeling of guilt twinged inside her. She had felt the same twinge when she had first brought him here. But then, as now, she had only one response to it. "He was going to die, Arcade."

Arcade exploded out of his chair. "And? And so fucking what? Save the me and Mojave a whole lot of fucking trouble!"

"Would you rather have had Lanius in charge?"

That brought him up short. He looked at her suspiciously. "You did not bring me here and sell me out so I could save the lesser of two evils."

"So you've met him."

"Of course I've met him," he said, quietly. He moved the chair closer to her bed and sat back down. He was whispering now. "He's a monster. They literally call him the Monster of the East. He's brought his slave girls here sometimes. I wasn't--" He looked away. "I wasn't able to save one of them."

Six said nothing.

He looked back at her, disgust evident again. "And this is what you signed up for. These are the people you led to success. I just don't get it."

"I have no love for Lanius, Arcade. And he has no love for the Legion. I think it's safe to say the Mojave is better off with Caesar over him."

"The Mojave is better off without either of them, Six, and you know it." He sighed. "Or I thought you did." He removed his glasses and tried to clean them with his dirty shirt. "So don't tell me you brought me here to save New Vegas from the Monster of the East. If you had thought the Legion needed stopping you would have chosen another side."

"That's true. I didn't do it to stop Lanius. I just hoped that argument would help you feel better about it. I already told you why I did it."

"Because Caesar was going to die." Arcade sighed again and replaced his glasses. "Why did you care?"

"He--" She stopped. "I just--" She bit the inside of her cheek. "If he wasn't the leader of the Legion, I still would have brought you to him."

Arcade looked confused. "So. You care about him. As, like, a person? Because you know that's crazy, right? You know _he's_ crazy, right?"

"He isn't crazy. He's passionate and brave and interesting and intelligent--"

"He's completely fucking twisted! And you must be, too, you sound like you're in love with the guy!"

Six said nothing. Arcade sat back, stunned. "You're in love with the guy? That's ridiculous. The leader of the raping slaver culture. The King Misogynist, the --"

"When he called me here the first time, asked for an audience. I came. Because I'm curious. Because I had seen some things I agree with. Heard some things about how life is in Arizona. And because I had heard some things I didn't agree with. But when I got here, Arcade, he wasn't anything like that." Arcade looked beyond skeptical. "Oh, sure, he's hard. He's very hard. And unforgiving. But he doesn't hate women. He never thought I was less than capable. He always let me prove my abilities. And that's what the wasteland is, Arcade. It's hard. It's unforgiving. And it's a chance to prove that you're strong enough."

"Exactly. The wasteland is shitty enough. Why make it shittier?"

Six didn't answer that question. Instead, she said, "There's a lot of overlap between the Legion and the Followers, have you noticed that?"

"Oh, no. No, no, no. Don't try this on me. Caesar tries this argument all the time and it's crap, Six."

"Caesar says that? To you?" Six smiled. "Well. I guess I shouldn't be surprised he saw intelligence in you."

"Don't try to butter me up, sister. I still hate you and you're both out of your damn minds. Just because the Legion mantra is to work together for the whole, the way they put it into practice is so far removed from what the Followers teach."

"It is what the Followers teach. It's just... tweaked."

"Tweaked?!"

"So that it actually has a chance for success."

"If raping and pillaging are success to you, I suppose it works well."

"Things are different in Arizona. People live in peace. I've talked to people who've been there. Lived there. It's safe. Everyone has food. Everyone has clean water."

"No one has freedom."

"They have more freedom than a lot of places in the NCR. They pay a minuscule amount of taxes--"

"It's easy not to tax when the majority of your labor comes from slaves."

"Slaves are just for the army. Once there is no need of an army, there will be no need of slaves. And the taxes would stay the same."

"I can't comprehend how Caesar could so extensively scramble your sense of morality to make you think the Legion is a better alternative to anything."

"And really, how much freedom do people here have now?" she continued. "What's freedom mean to you if you don't have enough food to feed yourself? If you can't get any water that isn't irradiated? If you don't know from one day to the next if you're going to survive or if you're going to get killed by raiders or deathclaws or starve to death? That freedom is just as much a lie as anything you could say about the Legion."

Arcade was silent for a moment. "I'll tell you the same thing I tell Caesar. While I agree with your points, the fact remains that the ends do not justify the means. If you rape a culture into being, if you build it on the backs of slaves, it is a slave culture. And that's not okay. And furthermore, I can't believe I'm arguing politics with you. Back when we were travelling together we always seemed to agree. Although I suppose you were just lying. And after I got here, well, most of my daydreams involved a bit less back-and-forth and a bit more killing you in some painful way, if I'm being honest."

"I wasn't lying."

"Hmm?"

"I wasn't lying. Back when we used to talk politics. I just... don't think your ways are feasible anymore."

Arcade sighed. "Fair enough. I wonder that myself quite often." He gave her a sharp look. "Not that I agree with the Legion. At all. Or that I don't still hate you. Because I do. But it does all seem a bit... pointless at times." He looked guilty for a moment. "To be honest. My living conditions here are actually a bit better than they were in Freeside. You know. Minus the freedom, of course."

"Of course."

They were silent for a moment. It reminded Six of the companionable silences shared under the stars by the campfire, but of course it was not. The knowledge made her uncomfortable.

"So you and Lord Caesar talk politics, huh?"

Arcade sighed. "He seems to think it great fun. At first I thought I might be able to do some good. Talk him around to more reasonable points. It's never going to work, though. He likes talking to someone who knows what he means when he references Rome and speaks in Latin. But he doesn't care what my opinion is about anything."

"If he didn't care what your opinion was I doubt he'd let you talk like that," Six responded.

"I don't talk like that to Caesar," Arcade said. "Well. Rarely. Sometimes he does get me a bit worked up."

"Yeah, me, too," she replied with a small smile.

"Ugh." Arcade was revolted. "If the thought of a worked up woman wasn't gross enough already, you've got to cast Caesar into my mental images."

"He's not a bad looking guy, you know."

"Stop now or I'll reconsider that Med-X."

Just then the tent flap was pulled back and the man himself, followed by Vulpes, entered. Six blushed. She hoped he hadn't heard her. She hoped he had.

She tried to stand. "Ave, Lord Caesar."

He waved her down. "Stay, stay. You're injured. A fractured rib, a concussion, fractured wrist, sprained ankle. You aren't going anywhere for a while." She relaxed as Caesar pulled a chair up next to Arcade. "We've got the best doctor to see to you. Though I'm sure you know that."

Arcade returned his smile with a sarcastic one of his own.

"So. No doubt it will please you to know the last member of the trio that attacked you is strung up on a cross at this very moment."

"It does, Lord Caesar. Thank you."

"No thanks necessary, Courier. It is a crime punishable by death to needlessly attack someone who is not a Profligate. Not to mention they had been drinking alcohol. But I do hope it gives you some consolation because I bet you're not going to like what I have to say next." He paused. "I am taking Lanius and most of the able-bodied legionaries to New Vegas tomorrow morning. I know you wanted to be there to see the city fall, but--"

"I can handle myself, Lord Caesar. These injuries are nothing!" She again tried to stand, but the pain in her ribs made her head dizzy.

"I admire your spirit, Courier, as I always have done. But to join us in your condition would just be an embarrassment to yourself. I say you will not fight."

She slumped down in the bed. "Sic, Lord Caesar. I will do as you say."

"Of course you will. Now, for long term plans. You have expressed interest many times in visiting our lands. After you have healed, a caravan heading toward Flagstaff will carry you. I have a letter here for Primus Augustus, he is overseeing from the Capital while I am away. He will--"

"No!"

Caesar looked at her, surprised. At the disagreement or simply the interruption, she didn't know, or care. "Do not send me from your side, my Lord!"

The man shared a long look with Vulpes Inculta, though what passed between them she couldn't say. All Six knew was that she couldn't let him send her off to fade away in Flagstaff. For all that she talked Arizona up to Arcade, she had no interest in living there. No fighting to get her blood boiling, no Caesar to set her heart racing; it would be torture.

"You have earned your rest, Courier. Vegas will fall and we have no use for your particular brand of mercenary."

"Rest, Lord Caesar? Mercenary? Neither of these things apply to me. I am your soldier, no mercenary. I fight for you and only you. Do not send me to rot in some quiet town."

Caesar smiled. "Indeed. Vulpes didn't think you would go for that. He seems to think you want to become a Legion warrior. I told him you were too smart to expect that to happen."

"I..."

"Hmm. Apparently not. I suppose my words might have mislead you. You were very useful to our cause, but that time is over. I will say now, clearly: There cannot be female legionaries. This is a men's army."

Six was shocked, too shocked to speak.

"So, if that's all," Caesar said, standing. "I have made the arrangements with the caravan." She couldn't look at him. Vulpes was staring at her with an unreadable expression. Arcade had an expression like pity on his face. Good old Arcade. Couldn't even take pleasure in an enemy's despair, for all he talked about wanting her to die.

At that moment, she wanted to die.

"No, Lord." She managed to struggle to her feet. Caesar turned back to her. He didn't look happy at her continued refusal. "I mean. Please. I mean it. Don't send me away. I am still useful to you. I am a warrior. I am still helpful."

Caesar walked back over to her. He put a hand on her shoulder and pushed her gently back to the bed, and resumed his place in the chair.

"Spitfire little girl, aren't you? It's true, you have been very helpful. I suppose if Flagstaff is not what you want it is not a suitable reward for your service. You want to stay here, on the frontlines?"

"Yes, Lord. More than anything."

"You must understand. We have a culture to uphold. If you want to stay there must be a reason, a way I can explain it to the legionaries without them thinking I am showing favorable treatment to a woman." How about favorable treatment to a trusted warrior? she thought. "If I do that, the whole system falls down."

"Women were warriors in Sparta," Arcade said quietly.

"Not now, Arcade," Caesar snapped. "You can stay, but you'd need a master. A husband, rather. A reason for your continued presence." He must have misread the expression on her face. "I knew you wouldn't like it. But it is the way it is."

"No! I mean," she tried valiantly not to blush, "if that is what it takes, I'd be honored, My Lord."

Caesar smiled and clapped his hands. "Excellent. Well, everyone's happy. I imagine Lanius would take you in. My second in command; the most honor you can get from a match."

"...what?"

"Lord Caesar, I doubt the Legate would welcome the responsibility of a wife. He does not even welcome the responsibility of keeping his slaves alive," Vulpes interjected.

"I'm sure he'll take care with this one, Inculta. She's not some ordinary slave, after all."

"That isn't quite what I had in mind, my Lord," Six said quietly.

"Well, what, woman? You can leave as soon as you're healed, if that's what you're after! I tire of this conversation."

"But... no, I thought..." Six couldn't say it, now. He'd had the opportunity right before him, and he shucked her off on someone else. This was so far from what she wanted she didn't even know how to articulate it. She looked at Arcade, who looked stony faced and angry. She looked at Vulpes. He had known. He had tried to tell her last night that this would happen and she blew him off. She thought wildly, fix this, fix this, fix this, please. I don't know how.

"I doubt Lanius knows what care is, Lord Caesar. I will take her, if it pleases you."

"Whatever ends this conversation. I have much to do before I set off tomorrow. Ungrateful woman."

Caesar stormed from the tent. Arcade looked like he wanted to say something, probably 'I told you so,' but Vulpes was walking towards them. He didn't even glance at him as he said, "Leave us."

Then Arcade was gone. Just her and Vulpes.

Six was scared, but it felt distant, somehow. A clawing terror and a rising despair, but it felt unimportant next to the numbness of shock.

"I guess we know who you are now, Six Inculta." She said nothing. Vulpes sat in the chair Caesar had vacated. She could barely look at him. "I imagine this is not what you hoped would come from that conversation."

"Don't you have a battle to prepare for?" she said flatly.

"I am not going to the battle. I am the leader of the Frumentarii, not a field commander."

He reached out towards her and she flinched away. Vulpes smiled wanly. "That's no way to repay me for my kindness. I saved you from Lanius."

"Right. I'm sure your Ranger will be pleased that your attentions will be divided."

He pulled his hand back. "Lanius might not have made the distinction between Profligate and Dissolute," he began.

"Oh, I'm still fucking Dissolute, am I?" Six laughed, but tears began streaming down her cheeks. "Lovely."

"Stop that, it is most unattractive."

"Like I give a shit at this point."

"As is cursing. But if you would let me speak, I apologize." She looked up at him. He looked uncomfortable. "I misspoke. You are no longer Dissolute. But again. Lanius would likely not have made that distinction. He has no cares for the societal aspects of the Legion, only the freedom it gives him to satiate his blood thirst." He paused. "And the slaves, I suppose."

"And you clearly have no interest in slaves. Let me ask your Ranger what she thinks about--"

"The Ranger is dead," he said. "Or will be soon, I should say. I am a man of great talents, but I doubt I could wrangle you both at once."

"You will not be wrangling me, in any case," Six spat. "I'm not an NCR dog to be brought to heel."

"Indeed you are not. And if you would take a moment to listen to me you would understand what is really happening here."

"Whatever."

Vulpes tsked in annoyance. "You have no idea the fine line you walk. Though you should. It's not difficult to figure out."

"Enlighten me, dear husband," she spat.

"You are not an NCR dog, but you do need to be brought to heel. Caesar is in two minds about you, which is one more than the rest of the Legion. He admires your strength. I told you this last night. But the fact remains, you are a woman. He will not risk the stability of the Legion, even if it means dishonoring one he has grown to respect."

Hearing that Caesar respected her should not set butterflies in her stomach. Not after all he said. Not after handing her off to another man like a piece of meat. But it did.

"This is the closest you could have hoped for at this time. I told him you would never accept being sent away from the front lines. I guided him to think of a way for you to remain. Your strength is useful, still. In ways Caesar has yet to see."

"That sounds dangerously close to disloyalty, Inculta."

"Far from it. I am a trusted advisor. It is my duty to advise," he said lightly.

Six wiped her face on the patient gown and took a deep breath. "Advise me, then."

"First, you need to show him, show everyone that you can last in the Legion. That you can assimilate to our culture. He will never take you seriously if he views you as an outsider. After that is accomplished, you can start to show your strength again. Then it won't be your strength. It won't be the strength of the Dissolute. It will be Legion strength, which is always rewarded."

His words made sense. But so had the words of Caesar; words that promised acceptance while never stating it. She had fallen victim to Legion words before. And this time she had even less reason to trust them.

"You said last night. None of the things I did until now made sense. Because I'm a woman, fighting for the Legion. Now I see what you mean. Because this doesn't make any sense. You're making out like you're protecting me, like you want me to succeed in what I want. But why would you want that? You're Legion. I'm a woman. Why would you care at all about me?"

"Perhaps when you answer my question, I'll answer yours."

Six grimaced. "Well. Whatever your end game is, I can tell you right now. You're never going to fuck me. I'll kill you first."

Vulpes said nothing, but his eyes seemed to laugh at her. Or maybe not. It was hard to tell.


	3. Machetes and Metaphors

 

It had been three days since Caesar and most of the Legion left for New Vegas. They were moving slowly, getting their strength back. Six knew the Omertas and the Kings would be taking a lot of the NCR out before the Legion even arrived. It should be a simple victory. One she had dearly hoped to accompany Caesar on. As it was she could barely look towards the river and the Dam, much less return to it. She had flat-out refused when Vulpes suggested it, but the merriment in his eyes suggested it was never a serious proposition. The more time she spent with the man, the less she understood him.

He understood her rather well, it seemed. The morning after Caesar had left he liberated her from the clinic tent and the uncomfortable presence of Arcade to practice sparring. He didn't mention her injuries and neither did she.

He had no such qualms about hitting her in her bruises, though.

"You need to move faster, Courier. Your skill with a machete is passable, but what if it is knocked from your hand?"

She breathed deeply. Everything ached. She was trying not to put weight on her ankle and his constant demands infuriated her.

"Or do you need to _rest_?" he asked mockingly.

She lunged at him, left palm colliding with his chin. It wasn't the best hit, but it knocked the smile off his face.

When he finally called a stop to it Six didn't know if exhaustion or pain would collapse her first. She sat heavily on a log next to a fire pit. Vulpes sat next to her, drinking from a canteen. She didn't think she'd ever seen him sit on the ground before. It was strange.

He passed her the canteen and she drank deeply. "You have decent form, most likely from wielding the machete. Learn that although you have no tangible weapon, your fists can be deadly. You can carry over many of the forms with minor alterations to compensate for your lack of reach."

"Yeah," she panted. "I know, I get it. I just need to practice more."

"Not only practice, although you do need plenty of that. You have to understand the style. Understand why certain things will work and why others will not. It's one half strength, one half training, and one half mind games."

"That's three halves, Vulpes."

"And to overcome your problems, Courier, you need to be twice a man."

She sighed.

"It is good to practice with injuries."

"Is it." Would he never shut up?

"Yes. You refused to hit with your right hand. You were not willing to injure it further. That is good for sparring. You are learning how to use your left hand. You had to shift your stances to make up for your ankle. Makes it easier when you find yourself fighting on rough terrain. And the torso, well. You're learning how to take pain and keep fighting."

"You have some metaphorical message for everything, don't you?" She took another drink and handed the canteen back to him. "I know how to take pain," she added.

"No, you do not. You know how to take Med-X. You know how to take Stimpaks."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm a weak profligate, I get it."

He wiped some blood from her face with his thumb, then looked at it appraisingly. For a strange moment, she thought he was going to lick it. He simply ran it along his armor, the color blending into the dark red almost imperceptibly. "Not for long."

\---

They stayed at the Fort for a month, training most every day. According to custom, Six moved into Vulpes' tents, but she brought her own bedroll. She waited to shoot down a proposition that never came. She was still unsure of Vulpes and his motives, but as days turned to weeks new movements turned to habits. She learned to fight with her left hand. She learned to do laundry, both her own and Vulpes' red garments. She learned to hold her balance on a boulder as a machete sliced close to her throat. She learned the strange cadences that most of the slaves spoke with. She learned what pain felt like.

\---

She entered the clinical tent alone, and was happy to see Arcade was as well. She was quite sure he still hated her, but when they were alone they fell into rhythms similar to what they had during their travels together. Before she sold him out. Sometimes his acerbic wit cut a little close to home, but it was the price she paid for keeping Caesar alive, and she would pay it every time.

"Well, if it isn't my second most hated nemesis," he said, taking in her bloodied arm. "That Vulpes is a piece of work, isn't he? Stitches?"

"Yeah, probably. And he didn't mean to," she said. He gave her a look as he walked over. "We were sparring. Accidents happen."

"I'm sure he's immensely contrite." He rinsed the wound with water and took a closer look.

"I should have blocked it. It was obvious he was surprised when he made contact. And I'm shocked. I thought at least Lanius would be above me."

"He is." He went and fetched his doctor's bag, pulling out a surgical needle and thread. "It's Lanius, you, then Caesar. I tend to hate the betrayer a bit more than the one I was betrayed to."

He threaded the needle and set it aside. He pulled out a bottle of vodka and poured some on the instrument.

"All the things you hold Caesar responsible for and I still beat him out?"

He poured some alcohol on her wound and she hissed. "It's personal, not rational." He paused, needle poised. "Do you want some Med-X?"

Six was touched. His words might be rough, but he was truly a forgiver. "Thank you for the offer, but--"

"Good, because I wasn't going to give you any." He plunged the needle into the skin and she bit back a scream. Asshole. But it was the price she paid. "Although I've come to a conclusion."

"What's that?" she asked, teeth gritted.

"You're just as much of a slave as I am. I mean, you chose it for yourself, unlike _my situation_ \--" he pushed slowly through the next one, drawing it out, "--but now that you're here, you have no ability to chose your own fate, either."

The slow, burning pain was worse than the stabbing quickness of the first thread. "I could leave," she bit out.

Arcade laughed hollowly. "Try it. I think Fox Boy would have something to say about that."

"He's not really my husband. Just in name. It's just what I had to do to stay here."

" _A caelo usque ad centrum_." He paused. " _Et nominibus._ "

"I'm a little distracted for Latin right now, Arcade."

"For whoever owns the soil, it is theirs up to the sky and down to the depths. In name as well as truth."

"Is that an exact translation?"

Arcade shrugged, pulling on the thread. "Artistic license."

"Right. I'm surprised Caesar's left behind this charming personality."

Arcade tied off the thread and cut it, then dumped the rest of the vodka onto a cloth and handed it to her. "I know. Never thought I'd miss the bastard but Lanius is in charge of me now that he's gone. As you can imagine that isn't my preferred situation. Although my preferred situation--"

"Enough already," Six said, lightly shoving his shoulder. He hissed in pain. Six retracted her hand immediately and stared at him.

"He wasn't happy I didn't have a way to fix his _herpes simplex_. Or when I suggested amputation."

Six giggled. She couldn't help it. "You told Lanius to cut his dick off?"

Arcade shrugged, but a small smile played at his lips. "What can I say? Caesar might be an evil scourge on the Earth, but I got used to him laughing at my jokes. And honestly, if Lanius did cut his dick off I'd have a lot of happy girls in this camp, and a lot less herpes. He just punched me. I cringed quickly enough that I just got it in the shoulder. Hell of a punch, though."

Vulpes pulled back the tent flap. He was wearing his dog-head helmet. "Come. Quickly." He glanced at Arcade. "And you might as well start packing up. You're leaving, too."

"Leaving?" Arcade asked.

"For New Vegas, Profligate. Caesar has summoned us. So silence yourself and begin preparations."

He exited the tent and Arcade looked at Six. "Quite the charmer you've found yourself."

"He's not that bad, actually," Six said, standing and flexing her arm slightly. "Good stitches."

"Thanks. And remember, I can only deal with physical wounds. The psychological scars from your Stockholm Syndrome are beyond my expertise."

\---

Six hurried to catch up with Vulpes. "He's summoned us?" she asked, a bit breathless. Hopefully he would attribute it to the light jog.

He glanced at her. "Don't excite yourself unduly." Apparently not. "He has summoned all of us. A small standing force will be left at the Dam, but Vegas is ready for full occupation."

He slowed down, and put his mouth to her ear. "Did that profligate physician say that the Legate has a genital disease?"

Six burst out laughing, but Vulpes didn't look amused. "Wait, why?" She sobered quickly. "Did you guys bang slaves together or something?" she asked. "Are you worried, you know, for yourself?"

Vulpes raised an eyebrow. "I don't see why you would have a vested interest in the answer to that."

"I don't, I just..." Six was at a loss. "I guess I don't."

They continued walking in what Six felt was a very uncomfortable silence. Vulpes didn't seem to notice. The bastard.

\---

New Vegas was not ready for full occupation, and to Six's eyes it looked as though it never would be. There were tents everywhere. Legion members were only allowed to stay in the buildings of outer Vegas, and there weren't enough. The strip's lodging was off-limits. Caesar had pitched a tent outside the Lucky 38 as a show of solidarity. Even Lord Caesar resisted the temptation of the splendor of sinners.

Vulpes and Six were assigned quarters in the Casa Madrid apartment building. The door said Jimmy on the front. Apparently Caesar had originally intended this building for himself, and while the Praetorians had been clearing it one of them found the body of a young man and went postal, attacking other Praetorians for no discernable reason. The man had been crucified, of course, but not before his tongue had been cut out by Caesar himself.

Six suspected that was the main reason they had all been called back. There was a vacancy in the Praetorians and all of the Legion was able to try for the position instead of the usual protocol.

Vulpes was unconvinced. He had been too busy in meetings that week to be at the Casa often. With a lack of anything better to do, she made her way most days to the clinic. She didn't expect Arcade was ever pleased to see her, as such, but he was now responsible for setting up a clinic and dealing with centurions and others who had been injured in booby-traps left by the previous inhabitants. It was fun, if stressful work. Arcade was becoming less vitriolic towards her and she wondered if it was because he was now truly convinced she was as much of a slave as he was. She wondered if she was starting to become convinced herself. But it helped the time pass, and in the rare moments when there wasn't anyone to sew up there was good conversation. She smiled. Arcade never could resist good conversation, no matter who the partner was. That was probably why Caesar kept him around. He tried to convince her regularly that she was insane, but once that was out of the way they would speak on other subjects. She asked him about Spartans and their female warriors and she wondered why that couldn't be something the Legion adopted.

The door to the room slammed open. Vulpes was back from a meeting with Lord Caesar. "He wants us to raze this city to the ground. Literally," Vulpes said. "All the casinos must be turned to rubble and rebuilt to be "less grand"." He spat on the ground. "What was the point of us taking this city at all, then? I had contingency plans that would have allowed for the whole thing to go up in nuclear fire, but no. This was to be his Rome. But now we must knock it down with pickaxes and dynamite."

Six had seen Vulpes unimpressed with Caesar's decisions before, but not like this. He slumped down on the bed and put his face in his hands. "Clearly he didn't want it to be radioactive," she said. "He still wants this to be his capitol. He just doesn't want the sins of the old infecting the new. I think it's judicious and even estimable."

Vulpes' eyes narrowed at her between his fingers. "You've been spending time with the Profligate again. The quality of your vocabulary is down right elucidatory."

"He runs a clinic. I help set it up. There are legionaries with injuries who need his help."

"People notice, you know. How much time you spend with him. It does not help your case."

"My case?"

"Your desire to be seen as a legionary, my slow Dissolute whore." He caught her hand before she could slap him. "And that's another thing people have noticed. You are not nearly deferential enough in your actions, nor your words. That, coupled with your Profligate boyfriend--"

Six laughed. "I get it. You're upset that people think I'm cheating on you! How rich. You know this marriage is a sham."

Vulpes' lips twisted, in anger or a sneer Six couldn't see. The next thing she knew she was on her back on the mattress and Vulpes was looming over her. How long had it been since she'd been scared of this man? Since Nipton? She was wrong to forget who he was.

"Stupid girl. Do you want to ruin all our plans? Yes, it is very bad if people think you are committing adultery on your husband, the leader of the Frumentarii, with a dirty Profligate slave," he said, as if to a child.

Six wrenched her hand out of his grasp. "Fine, alright? I get it. I'm not sleeping with him. As if I could!"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Six paused. "He still hates me for giving him to Caesar in the first place, is what I mean. The only reason he lets me down there is because there are too many injured legionaries to handle himself."

Vulpes didn't look convinced, but as revolutionary as he seemed to be when he was teaching her to fight against Legion custom, she didn't know if she could trust him with the knowledge that Arcade was gay. It wasn't something she had thought about before, but it made her feel guiltier about giving him to Caesar. She certainly didn't have the right to spill that secret now.

"Anyone can see us! We're only together in the clinic building. I'm here every night, as you well know."

Vulpes considered her from his position on her hips. The longer he looked at her, the more nervous she became. He wasn't going to attempt to prove anything, was he? The surprising warm tingling that thought sent down her spine was ignored. Because if he tried anything, she would fight him. She would not submit.

He leaned down and put his mouth next to her ear. She barely controlled a gasp as his breath ghosted on her cheek. "I have been much too lenient with you. There is more than one way to fight, and have been lacking in my instruction. Things that have been tolerated in the past, both by Caesar and by myself, will be tolerated no longer. You must learn your place in the Legion before you can break out of it." He moved away and off of the bed. "Unless you've decided you no longer wish to pursue this course of action. If you want to run away, I'm sure I could invent a believable excuse so they would not come looking for you." With that he sat down at the desk in the corner of the room, looking through papers and making notes. Clearly their conversation was over. She felt cold with the lack of his body heat, but her cheeks burned hot with shame and confusion.


	4. Munus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a somewhat violent scene in this chapter, which, as Fallout fans, shouldn't be too hard on anyone. There is a bit of... corpse dismemberment, though, but it's not described in detail.

 

She walked with Vulpes, in her place, one step behind him, around the arena. They would have to stand and watch the fights. With the sun beating down she thought longingly of the Tops stage, or even the private dining room in the UltraLux. Both of those places would serve their purposes well, also giving them a place to sit out of the heat. But that was weak, profligate thinking. A legionary might see the splendor that sinning could buy and be swayed to deceit. So in the sun they stood.

When they reached the head of the arena, she turned to Vulpes.

"No." He glanced at her. "Don't even ask."

"You don't know what I was going to say."

"Of course I know."

She rolled her eyes. "Of course you know."

"You want to enter in the tournament. No. You're not ready."

She scoffed. "I am ready. Even you said I could probably take on a Praetorian."

"I said _probably_. And I shouldn't have said it, anyway. It raised your confidence far too much." He gave her a thin-lipped smile. "And that's not what I meant, anyway. I meant our other lessons. The ones you are not doing nearly so well in."

"I walked a step behind you!" she whispered fiercely. "I'm wearing the clothes, aren't I?"

The hopefuls were gathering near the entrance of the arena. Six could see Caesar and Lanius making their way towards them.

"Yes, but you're rolling your eyes and talking back. People still see you as a woman. And so, you're not ready make them accept you as a warrior."

"Well, how is wearing dresses and being deferential going to stop them seeing me as a woman? You said they _need_ to see me as a woman!" she hissed.

"A _Legion_ woman. Now _be quiet_."

Caesar joined them at the head of the arena. Lanius had gone over by the fighters. Some of them looked intimidated by his mere presence. Those would fail. Caesar clapped his hand on Vulpes' shoulder and stood between them.

"Beautiful day for a _munus_ , don't you think, Inculta?" He laughed loudly.

"Indeed, Lord. How many contestants do we have today?"

"Twenty-nine."

"An odd number. If only one more person would enter, it would make it a lot easier," Six said airily. Vulpes glared at her.

Caesar just laughed again. "True, but the _munus_ is closed to entries now. And it won't be too difficult. At the end of it, it's whoever comes out alive."

Six smiled at Vulpes when Caesar had turned. He shook his head back and forth slowly in warning.

"Although I imagine, Lord Caesar, if someone did go into the arena who wasn't on the list, and they beat the other contenders in fair fight, you wouldn't be too upset about that."

Caesar stopped smiling then, and gave her a strange look she couldn't quite read. It was either, 'Go for it, see what happens!' or it was, more sinisterly, 'Go for it, _see what happens.'_

"So, how is married life treating you, Courier?" he asked.

She looked over at Vulpes. He had one eyebrow raised. She looked back at Caesar and smiled. "It's, well, to be honest it's a lot to get used to. But it does have its benefits." She winked at Vulpes, who looked momentarily shocked as Caesar laughed again.

"Still a handful, Vulpes? It seems those ones are always a bit more fun. But you'd know all about that. There are a few Rangers still locked up in the old NCR military police building, if you want a look. Was going to throw them into the arena one of these days, but no harm if you want one."

Vulpes' eyes flicked to Six for a fraction of a second before replying smoothly, "Thank you, Lord Caesar, but I think I must pass. I have my hands quite full already."

The first pair of Centurions walked into the arena, and for the next three hours Six watched them closely. She was certain she could beat all of them. She had never gone at Vulpes with all her strength, but then again she was sure he had never, either. But these fighters were less than half an Inculta. She regretted not throwing herself in the ring--perhaps that's what Caesar was looking for, a bit of boldness--but with Vulpes standing there, watching her, knowing exactly what she was thinking, she didn't have the nerve.

\---

It was night-time now, but the building was still hot. Six threw open the window when they walked in. What she wouldn't give to be in a tent right now, with sides that rolled up. She was so exhausted, from the heat and the mental strain of the day, that she collapsed down on the mattress. Her bed roll was too far away.

The noises of Vulpes getting ready for bed paused, then resumed as he removed his jewelry and set it on the table. The mattress dipped, then sounds of shoes hitting the floor. Rustle of clothes. The squeaking of springs as he turned and laid down next to her.

"Coming to bed with me tonight, Courier? You certainly did well today, after a brief stumble, so if you're looking for a reward--"

She rolled over onto her back. "I could have done better than Horatio."

Vulpes seemed to consider this. As if he hadn't already. The show irritated Six. "He is a very able fighter. It would have been close, certainly."

"Close? Are you serious?" She turned on her side to look at him. "I could have taken him with a sprained wrist."

Vulpes smiled. "Your confidence is something to behold. It certainly runs above your ability."

"Jerk. You really think he would have beaten me?"

"I said before that it would be close. I think a match like that would have come down to luck. And you don't want it to come down to luck. Luck usually favors the strong."

"Are you calling me weak?" He still hadn't looked at her once throughout these insults, and she was getting angrier.

"You watched fights between men who had equal amounts of strength. You are not considering how well you would block those same hits. You would not do as well."

"If you think I'm so shitty why don't we spar anymore?"

"We can spar, certainly, when I have more time to spare. We would need to do it secretly, of course, and that would be somewhat of a challenge. Though I suppose if we moved the bed to the side and did it in here people would just assume your screams were us having violent sex."

"Oh, please," she scoffed.

He turned to her now with a puzzled look. "Are you asking me to have violent sex with you?"

Six gaped at him until she saw the small upturn of his lips, the amusement in his eyes. She hit him with a pillow.

"Are we starting now?" he asked, shaking with repressed laughter.

"Ugh, shut up!" Six put the pillow over her face and mumbled something.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't quite hear that. Would you like me to begin the ravishing?"

"I _said_ ," she yelled, "that's not what I meant and you know it!" She moved the pillow a few inches to look at him. He was still laughing. "You think you're so fucking funny. I should ask your Ranger how much of her time she spent giggling."

That shut him up.

The silence that descended then was awkward, and Six didn't know how to broach it. Or if she wanted to. She was about to stand and go to her bed roll when Vulpes sat up. She looked at his back, noticing in the dim light the scars that crossed it. One of them she had put there herself during a sparring match. She had a strange desire to touch it.

"You said you didn't care to imagine it. All the times you bring it up leads me to think you imagine it often." Six still didn't know what to say, but it seemed he wasn't expecting a response. He left the bed and laid down on the roll next to the wall, back to her.

She stared at the ceiling. What just happened? Had she... hurt him, somehow?

Him?

The leader of the Frumentarii? Caesar's greatest spy?

She doubted it. Probably another twist in whatever game he was playing with her. Because otherwise it just didn't make sense.

\---

Six woke up angry. Unfortunately, Vulpes was already gone so she had no one to argue with. She decided to go down to the clinic. Maybe Arcade would throw some vitriol her way.

And if Vulpes found out she went down there again, she was ready for that fight, too.

She dressed and tied her hair back from her face. It was going to be another scorcher of a day.

Horatio, the winner of the tournament, was standing at the entrance of the arena with some other legionaries. She supposed his training for Praetorian was delayed so he could bask in the glory of victory. The fucker. He noticed her less than friendly expression as she approached. He couldn't possibly understand what it was for, but it seemed it got his back up, anyway.

"Oh, look. Only free woman in the whole Legion. And now she's just Inculta's whore."

She stopped. She should keep moving. She should ignore this. It didn't matter what this pissant little shit thought of her.

"I am no one's whore. And if I am the only free woman in the Legion you better ask yourself why that is. Why is everyone afraid to put a slave collar on me?" she said quietly.

His friends looked uncomfortable. Clearly they remembered how favored Six once was by Caesar. But Horatio was drunk on success, and Six was drunk on fury.

"Probably because they don't need to. I heard you fuck all of them anyway."

She walked towards him slowly. He was taller than she remembered. But she was too far gone to care. Vulpes was intolerable, this life was intolerable, and Horatio was standing in front of her with everything she ever wanted. Now was the time. Fuck trying to be a good little Legion dog.

"Words are the weapons of women. Why don't you say that to me in the arena, you little bitch?"

Horatio laughed. She lunged with a fake throw to his face, but used her left hand to grab his machete from his belt. He pushed her back, hard, but she came away with the weapon. He looked shocked.

"How about the arena, then?" She smiled sweetly. "Now that I have a weapon and you don't?"

Horatio looked confused, and his friends did not seem inclined to help him. Cowards. "But. Women can't fight in the arena," he said.

"Fine," she said, dropping her stance and holding the blade loosely at her side. "Don't fight me in the arena. I'll give you your machete back. I won't do anything. But you and everyone else here will know it's because you're scared of a girl."

His face hardened. "Let's do it, then. Otho!"

Six smiled and threw his machete back. He caught it easily.

The arena leader didn't look convinced. "Women can't fight."

"Then I will die. What's it to you?" she spat.

"If you don't let us use the arena," Horatio added, "we will just use arena rules outside the arena. And perhaps we will break those rules. You'd have no way of knowing."

Otho pursed his lips. "If the whore wants to die, I should not stand in her way."

Six felt a momentary admiration for Horatio, who apparently knew just the right buttons to push on Otho. But that soon passed. She inspected the blades laying at the side of the arena and selected one. Horatio stepped inside. Six followed. "You're wearing armor while I wear a cotton dress? That's not sporting."

Horatio frowned. "It is light armor. It's not my fault you don't have any." He looked toward Otho, who frowned. "You know what? I don't care. I'll take it off. I don't want anyone claiming I had extra advantage. I will fight you fairly, and you will still die." He shed his red armor and put it outside, then smiled at her. "You're wearing a cotton dress while I wear underclothes? That's hardly sporting."

Her lip curled. "Fine," she said. They wanted to see her? Fuck it. They'd learn soon enough. She took the machete and sliced down through the fabric. She shrugged out of the shoulders to whistles and shouts, but she didn't care. She'd cut his heart out and eat it if she could, and let them all watch.

With a simple word from Otho ("Begin!") they started the dance. She tried to wrangle her fury into positive motion, as Vulpes had taught her. Let your fury burn cold.

Let the strong make the first mistake. And so she waited, barely contained, as they slowly circled each other.

"Come on, then, girlie. Make a move. Nothing to say? Staying silent? Just going to wait for me, huh? What a good girl."

Six was beyond talking. She would let the blade speak for her. He lunged. He was tall, he had reach, but clearly he wasn't used to fighting someone so much shorter than him. She ducked down completely under his arm and stabbed up towards his ribs.

"Little bitch!" He was bleeding, but not as heavily as Six would have liked. She smiled, brought the machete to her lips, and licked the blood from it. Horatio was shocked. Anything to put them off balance. Everything is a metaphor.

He was a quick learner, though. He didn't make that mistake again. And he was strong. His attacks pushed her back and only her quick feet kept her from being pinned against the wooden wall.

She sustained a number of cuts on her arms, defensive wounds, but he also had gashes; in his ribs, legs, even one on his ass. Bleed them out. Tire them. Save yourself to kill them. Always look for luck.

And she saw it. It was coming finally. Even with her reserved fighting style she was tiring. But she could see what would happen. He was charging her. He expected to end with her on the ground and him on top because he was bigger than her, stronger. Once he did that there would be no hope for victory. But there was a crack in the pavement; if she could get her foot at the right angle at the right moment and use it for leverage, she would end up next to him as he fell to the ground, back to her. As good as dead.

And it worked. She pushed off with her right foot, dodged the lunge. She grabbed his left shoulder and let his weight pull her down on top of him. No time to spare. She braced for impact and quickly got her machete down to his neck. No words, no jibes or speeches. Just blood. She stood somewhat shakily; now her left wrist was hurting, but she stood. She kicked Horatio over onto his back so his glassy eyes would be visible to everyone. And his lacerated throat.

There was no applause. There was usually wild cheering when a match ended. And her match, she saw, had attracted a lot of spectators. But all of them were silent. Well, she wasn't really expecting a warm acceptance.

"What the fuck is this, then?" The voice of Caesar sounded from the head of the arena.


	5. or, Chapter Four and a Half

 

She pushed off with her right foot, dodged the lunge. She grabbed his left shoulder and let his weight pull her down on top of him. No time to spare. She braced for impact and quickly got her machete down to his neck. No words, no jibes or speeches. Just blood. She stood somewhat shakily; now her left wrist was hurting, but she stood. She kicked Horatio over onto his back so his glassy eyes would be visible to everyone. And his lacerated throat.

There was no applause. There was usually wild cheering when a match ended. And her match, she saw, had attracted a lot of spectators. But all of them were silent. Well, she wasn't really expecting a warm acceptance.

"What the fuck is this, then?" The voice of Caesar sounded from the head of the arena.

"It is Six, my Lord Caesar, at your service. I have culled the weak from your flock and stand ready to take my place," she replied, voice strong. He didn't seem happy at all, but this was it. All cards on the table now. Anything else would be pointless.

"You will be taking no places. What the fuck did you do this for?"

"To ensure your safety by only allowing the best and strongest to be at your side--"

"He hadn't even started yet!"

That brought Six up short. She had been so angry at him for having what she wanted. She didn't even think. She didn't know if there were rules about time limits, time for new Praetorian to prepare without being challenged. There probably were. "He was at the least a Centurion. He was supposedly the best of the Centurions. He fell to me."

"Oh, little girl. What have you done?"

Six snapped. "What do I have to do to prove myself to you?!"

"Well, first off, stupid girl, you have to have a dick. That's the way it works."

Caesar had jokes, did he? So did Six. "A dick?" She laughed. "I can get one of those real easy." She kneeled down over the dead Praetorian and reached under his battle dress. One quick slice with her machete and she lifted the bloody appendage towards her Lord. "There, got one." Caesar's mouth hardened to a thin line. She walked closer to him. "I killed him and cut his fucking dick off him. If that doesn't--"

"You murdered and mutilated one of your betters, Courier. I would be very careful what you do next." The rest of the Guard shifted uneasily.

"My betters? My _betters?_ He was clearly not my better, Lord Caesar. That much I have proven."

"You are an able fighter. But that is of no consequence."

"No conse--!"

"You were not _invited_ to be a Praetorian. You were never a legionary, and you are not a Centurion. A woman does not have the mental fortitude to perform as a warrior in society. It's the way of things."

She stared at him, disbelieving. She thought he understood. She thought he would prize her determination and skill, as it seemed he used to do. She thought wrong. "You love ancient history so much but you've forgotten about the Spartans."

He ignored her. "You're getting hysterical, sweetheart. Why don't you calm down before we have to put you down with the feral dogs?"

"A feral dog who won you the Dam. A feral dog who assassinated Kimball. Oliver. A feral dog who found you a doctor for your--"

A strong hand clasped over her mouth and pulled her backwards. Instinctively she raised her machete to cut it but as she looked down she saw a ring. She tilted it to her eyes with the edge of the blade. It was Vulpes' ring. Several things occurred to her at once. First, she must be perilously close to getting herself executed. Not that that mattered much to her; she had entered the arena thinking this day would see her either one of Caesar's Praetorians or dead. But thinking about it, she didn't particularly want to get whipped and crucified. A quick death in the arena would have been preferred.

Second, Vulpes was probably also in a lot of danger. If she had been promoted to Guard after winning the fight she doubted he would be in trouble. And if she had died in the fight that would have been the end of it. But now that she was alive and still not in Caesar's favor he would likely be held at least partially responsible for her actions. This man who still seemed as though he was protecting her, God knew why, did not deserve to be punished for her rashness.

Her hands shook as she forced herself to lower the machete. Vulpes was speaking, but she did not hear his words. She dropped the blade to the ground and only through a great force of will remained upright herself. This was the end. Everything she had worked for. Everything she had done. And it would never be enough for Lord Caesar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the short chapter. This was supposed to be at the end of the last one (hence the warning on the last chapter about corpse dismemberment), but I messed up my formatting. :/ I'm just glad I realized before I posted the next bit! It's a pretty intense scene to lose in transit.


	6. The Northern Passage

 

Six woke up in the medical building. Everything ached, but that was not new to her anymore. It was fitting. She deserved to feel like shit. She would most likely be whipped and crucified shortly anyway, so what did it even matter? There was no meaning to this life. Vulpes was right. Arcade was right. She had fallen madly for the charismatic leader of a brutal people, and he had no intentions of ever taking her seriously.

Arcade entered the room. He looked at her, shook his head, and laughed.

"We've got to stop meeting like this," he said, and sat on a chair next to her.

"I'm sure this is the last time," she mumbled.

"You are certifiably insane, you know that?" He checked her stitches. He seemed uncomfortable. "Maybe you were right. About Caesar respecting my opinion."

"Oh, really?"

"He told me what happened. I told him again about the Spartans and their women warriors. I reminded him of all the things you helped them accomplish. God knows why, but I made a case for you." Six was shocked. "I shouldn't say that," Arcade continued. "I do know why. He was prevaricating. The great Caesar didn't know if he should string someone up on a cross or not. The chance to sway Caesar to mercy was too enticing to give it up for personal revenge." He shrugged. "Who knows? This could be the beginning of a change in the status quo. If they respect women on the battlefield, maybe that will lead to respecting women in society. And maybe that will lead to the discontinuation of using slaves. Or maybe I'm giving myself, or Caesar, too much credit. Maybe he'll kill you anyway. He went away with Lanius; who knows what's being said? Maybe Lanius is convincing him to kill both of us. He wasn't happy that Caesar was speaking with a _Profligate_ about what to do."

Six tried not to let herself become hopeful. Her hopes had been raised to often, only to be dashed again. No, this time she was destined for the cross.

"Thank you, Arcade."

"I didn't do it for you."

She smiled. "I know."

They faded into silence as they waited. There was nothing left to say. Caesar would come and tell them what would happen, and that was it. She would submit to his word with all the grace she had never shown before. What other option was there? Be dragged, kicking and screaming, to be crucified? Honestly, she just didn't have the energy.

It was at least an hour until they were joined in the medical building. Six had been dozing off and on. Arcade shook her awake when Caesar and Vulpes entered.

Caesar looked at her and his eyes narrowed. "Why can't I just kill you and be done with all this?"

Six didn't know what to say to that, so after a moment she just replied, "Ave, Lord Caesar."

He laughed. "If only you had been born a man I wouldn't have half the problems I do now. But maybe then you wouldn't have been so deadset on proving yourself. I should have known you weren't going to let this go. You climbed out of your grave to track down the man who killed you, and I thought you'd go quietly into obscurity just so you wouldn't be a thorn in my side."

Caesar sighed. Six waited. "I like your determination. I always have. But you can't be here, walking around. Your very presence causes dissent and discord in the ranks. It is very fortunate for you that you insisted on fighting in the arena. What happens in the arena is never murder. So that means I'm not required to have you killed."

Six frowned. "You called it murder. Earlier. Lord."

"I was fucking pissed off at you and trying to scare you. But Horatio went into that fight willingly, and lost fairly. That gives me leverage."

"What do you need leverage for, Lord Caesar? You're... Lord Caesar," she said.

"I have an empire to keep stable, Courier. It's complicated and difficult and damned tiring, and I'm not going to sit here and discuss the finer points with you. So shut up and listen. I don't want to kill you. You have more love for my Legion than many among my ranks, and more ability. No matter how much it would make Lanius happy, I can't disregard those facts. But like I said, you can't stay here. So I have a job for you. It is a job I have given to multiple Frumentarii and they have failed. You asked me once about the Burned Man. His name is Joshua Graham. He is another thorn in my side."

"He's alive?" Six interjected, stunned.

Caesar glared. "Like the legends say, he survived. Your job is to kill him. He is staying with tribals in a place called Zion, near New Canaan. Inculta knows where. He will guide you. Graham is a loose end. Cut it off." He fixed her with a stern look. "You will never speak of this to anyone. You don't want to sit at home and play the good wife, fine. But you are not recognized by the Legion as a member. You may be preforming as a Frumentarius but you are not one. You have no title. You will receive no recognition from the population at large for completing this task, so don't expect any."

Caesar walked out without any more words. Vulpes followed.

After a moment of silence, Six said, "Well. This is a turn up."

"I don't know, Six. I just... don't know," replied Arcade.

\---

Vulpes said it would take about a month to reach Zion. Six didn't doubt it. They were moving slower than a one-legged mole rat on a hot afternoon. She was eager to complete the mission Caesar had given her. To be entrusted to kill the Malpais Legate! She hadn't been giving Lord Caesar enough credit. It was difficult to run an empire. He still valued her. She was disheartened by the fact he didn't seem to want her as she wanted him, but that didn't mean he didn't respect her or admire her skill and loyalty. She reasoned with herself; she may not see him, but as long as she was carrying out his will with speed and precision perhaps one day his mind would change.

Vulpes didn't seem inclined to talk with her about it, though. The one time she tried to bring up the mercy of Lord Caesar he had shouted at her that she was a stupid profligate and refused to speak further on that or any other subject. He was often lost in thought and she wasn't sure why. By being a part of this mission he was avoiding much of the rebuilding of New Vegas, and she knew he wasn't inclined to physical labor. Six found she didn't particularly care what his problem was, but it was making for a long, boring journey having no one to talk to.

The temperature was getting colder the more north they headed. She unrolled her mat next to the small fire for as much warmth as she could get. Vulpes was doing the same on the other side of the flames. The canyons they were now travelling through had the effect of a wind tunnel, but they climbed to a small cave -- really, more of a slight indentation with a small landing -- where they were safe from the worst of the gusts.

"Pork and beans?" she asked. "Or there's still some gecko steak left from yesterday. We should probably finish it. It's getting dry."

Vulpes waved his hand without looking at her, presumably he didn't care either way. Six speared the steak and held it above the flames to heat it. It was mildly less disgusting that way.

"So," she said. Vulpes ignored her still, unwinding what looked like a shiny blanket from his pack. "Wait, what is that?"

"A sleeping pouch," he replied simply, spreading it on top of his roll.

Six was surprised he even answered her, but didn't say it. "A sleeping pouch?"

"My name for it."

"Where did you get it?"

"Scavenging. It was inside of a broken vehicle."

"It doesn't look like it's very comfortable," she remarked, rotating the steak above the flames. He took all the weapons but the machete Six was wearing at her belt and put them inside the pouch. She was about to ask him why when he replied.

"You sleep inside of it, it isn't for cushion. It's for warmth. And to keep you dry."

"Dry?"

"In case of rain."

"Rain?"

He sat down on top of the pouch and raised an eyebrow at her. "It's when water falls from the sky." Six laughed. "I'm surprised your profligate boyfriend never told you about it. He seems learned."

Six stopped laughing. "Are you serious?"

Vulpes brushed some dirt from his shoulder. "Anyone can read books. Especially Followers of the Apocalypse. He certainly speaks enough Latin to humor Caesar--"

"No, I meant water. Falling from the sky. I've never seen that happen."

"It doesn't happen in the Mojave. Even before the war that area was a desert." He looked at her and sighed. "Which means it rained very little. After the war it stopped entirely in the region. But other places in the world still get rain. In Zion it rains quite often. Arizona, not so much. But occasionally."

"Water. Falling from the sky. Well, that would certainly solve a lot of problems."

"It is beneficial. Although the rain is usually at least somewhat irradiated."

"I guess that explains the phrase 'raining down.'" Six considered this as she pulled back the steak and cut it into two. It was only slightly warm, but it was a small fire, and she was hungry. "Is that why it's getting colder?" she asked as she passed a piece to Vulpes.

He took it and looked at it unhappily. Apparently he'd rather have pork and beans. "Why do you say that?"

"Water makes things colder."

"Does it?"

"Yeah. That's why we sweat when we're hot. When the water evaporates, it takes heat with it. Or something. My profligate boyfriend could explain it better."

He looked at her sharply, but she pretended to be engrossed in her steak. "The more northerly you travel, the colder it gets. Especially at certain times of the year. I imagine that by the time we reach Zion there might even be snow. Rain, halfway frozen, covering the ground."

"Now you're just showing off." She could see a small smile turn up the corners of his mouth. "You have been to Zion before, I take it?"

"Once," he replied, turning his face to look blankly at his meat again.

"Did that have anything to do with Joshua Graham?" she asked.

Vulpes threw his steak into the fire. Six sighed and reached for the pork and beans. "Yes," he replied. "Obviously."

"I thought phrasing it as a question might encourage you to open up about it." She cut the top off the can and nestled it in the coals. "We do have a mission, you know. Sharing of information could be helpful."

A strong gust of wind nearly put out the fire. Six wrapped her thin blanket around her. Just like Vulpes not to tell her it got cold where they were going.

"I was there almost six years ago. Myself and another Frumentarius entreated the help of a tribal gang called the White Legs with promises of joining the Legion. We taught them many things about warfare." Six listened quietly, stirring the beans so they wouldn't burn at the edges. "They were supposed to kill Graham and the tribe he had allied himself with. They finally did take out the New Canaanites, but unfortunately Graham did not perish with them. He has since built up another tribe, but they are small and relatively weak. If you wish to join with the White Legs for support, you could do that. If you want to go about it some other way, you could do that, too."

Six remained silent as she used a rag to extricate the hot can from the embers. She doubted she'd be aligning herself with any dirty savages, but that wasn't what concerned her. She wrapped the can carefully before handing it to Vulpes.

"You speak like you aren't staying with me," she said quietly.

Vulpes raised an eyebrow at her. "Are you saying you doubt your ability to handle this on your own?"

"No! I just..." Six sighed. She knew they were nearing territory Vulpes had been refusing to talk about. But she wanted answers. "Up until now you've been helping me. In your way, I guess. And I don't know why. But still. You have been. And yeah, I fucked up. But clearly Caesar has forgiven me. I don't see why you're still upset. Now it sounds like you're going to leave me in a frozen wasteland like you don't care if I succeed anymore."

Vulpes said nothing and proceeded to eat the entire can of food without once looking at her. Six sighed and flopped down on her bedroll. When he was done eating, he set the can aside and said, "You _should_ be doubting your ability. Five highly trained Legion assassins, some of them my own Frumentarii, have been unsuccessful. An entire tribe let him slip away. Caesar himself set him on fire and threw him into a canyon and he still survived."

"And I was shot twice in the head and I'm still here."

"You have been shot twice in the head at it has made you an imbecile."

"Whatever." The stars were hidden by canyon walls and clouds. She regretted getting him to talk. Silence was better than non-answers and insults.

"This is your mission. I am just leading you there. Caesar does not expect you to return." Vulpes stripped down to his underclothes and crawled into his weird pouch blanket. Six imagined he would get cold, the pouch didn't look much thicker than her own hopeless covering. She tried to ignore the implications of his words. Caesar didn't expect her to return, but had sent her anyway. That sounded like he meant for her to die. That couldn't be right. Could it?

Something cold struck her in the face. She reached up and touched it. Water. She heard soft pit-pat sound, and suddenly it was as though the sky opened and she was laying under a waterfall. Lovely. She looked over at Vulpes, but the light from the fire was gone and the rain was hard to see through. It looked as though he put his head under the blanket to escape the water. He did say it kept you from getting wet.

She went over and poked him in the shoulder. "Let me in."

There was a muffled noise that sounded an awful lot like 'no'.

"Don't be an ass, come on."

A cacophony of bangs sounded and Six screamed. She flung herself against the wall and looked around wildly. It echoed through the canyon. It reminded her of the Boomers. Did these tribes have that kind of technology? She thought of the weapons they had brought with them. Machetes, of course, Vulpes' ripper, a silenced 9mm pistol, some plasma grenades, a 12.7 SMG, and her anti-materiel rifle. Not anything to laugh at as far as weapons went, but nothing that could compare with Boomers' armament.

"Six!" Vulpes had opened his pouch an inch and was looking at her through the crack.

"I don't know what it is, but it's big!" she shouted. "We should move! Find cover!" She needed her rifle. It wouldn't combat whatever machinery had made that noise, but if she could find the person operating it through her scope that would be enough. If she could even see anything through this rain. But without it she felt very vulnerable.

"Shut up, Six! It's nothing!"

"We need to _move!_ "

"Stop shouting and come over here!"

She dropped to the ground and crawled over to him, scanning the ridges of the canyon. "Give me my rifle, Vulpes."

"It's just thunder. It happens when it rains sometimes. And --"

A zig-zag of energy from the sky stabbed towards the ground further down the canyon. A moment later another peal of thunder crashed upon their ears.

"What the fuck was that? Is this the Brotherhood? Is that some kind of Archimedes?"

"What are you -- Six, just take off your clothes," Vulpes shouted. That comment was so unexpected that it shocked Six into listening. "They are soaking wet and you're not wearing them in here with me."

She stared at Vulpes, his one eye peeking out from inside the pouch. "What the fuck are you talking about? Now is not the time to be coming on to me, alright? _You_ need to get _out_ of the pouch, and we _both_ need to find cover."

"Coming on to you? Mars, above, Six, listen to me! No one is firing on us. It's just the rain. It makes lights and noises. So, for _fuck's sake_ , take off your clothes and get in the pouch." She remained still. It didn't make any sense. Rain, cause all that? " _Six!_ " But she supposed that even if someone was after them with a doomsday device, hiding might be a good idea, anyway. Her only other option was to wrestle her weapons from the foot of Vulpes' pouch and run into the darkness alone.

She stripped out of all her wet clothing and clambered into the pouch with Vulpes. It was surprisingly warm. The rain was beating down on them, which was uncomfortable, but as far as she could tell the water was staying outside the pouch.

After a moment, and some deep breathing, she managed to calm down a bit. She could feel Vulpes shaking next to her.

"Are you... are you laughing at me?" asked incredulously.

The shaking subsided. "Yes. Yes I am."

Six ground her teeth in frustration. "Well, excuse me Mister _Well Traveled_ , but that shit is terrifying. You might have mentioned _laser strikes from the sky_ as something that happened with rain. Unless you were just bullshitting me."

"I was not. And I didn't mention it at first because it doesn't always happen. The water falling is called rain, but when all this happens together it is called a storm. I admit I was... startled as well, the first time I encountered it."

"Startled. Mmhmm." Now that calm was returning she did feel a bit foolish. And increasingly uncomfortable. Naked and wet and trapped in a bag with another tangle of limbs and a bunch of guns by your feet was not an ideal location. This was also the closest she had ever been to Vulpes by a long shot. Their entire bodies, shoulder to ankle, were pressed against each other. Unbidden, she thought of Caesar, and how much better this situation would be if it were him in there with here. Except that apparently he didn't care if she lived or died. Her thoughts veered towards a dark place before Vulpes' voice cut them off.

"But no, I wasn't laughing at your reaction. Though it was very amusing and I probably will do so many times in the near future. I just didn't expect you to get in here completely naked."

"What? You told me to take off my clothes!"

"Yes, but I thought you'd keep your underthings on at least."

"They were wet! You said no wet clothes!"

"You are also wet yourself. A pair of underwear would hardly have made much difference."

"You are such an ass." With difficulty, she managed to roll away from him. After a minute or two, the rain had collected on the gap made by their bodies. She could feel Vulpes moving around to try and fix it. It was probably very uncomfortable for him. She smiled to herself. After a few minutes of fumbling, he cursed. Suddenly his arm gripped her around the waist and pulled her toward him. She yelped.

"Don't get any ideas. It's just for convenience."

She pushed his arm away angrily and before she even thought about what she was saying, she snapped, "Is that what you told your Ranger?" She immediately felt guilty. He always got upset when she brought up the Ranger, and she hadn't really meant to do that now. Her nerves were just fried from the storm. And, admittedly, the embarrassment.

After a moment of incredibly tense silence, he shifted closer to her so his whole chest was tight against her back. He put his mouth next to her ear. She knew this wouldn't be pleasant, but she knew she had to take his venom in stride after what she had said. "You wish you had more in common with my Ranger, don't you?" he whispered, breath hot on her neck. "You seem to spend a lot of time thinking about what I did to her. Do you imagine it, late at night, when you're alone on the bedroll you insist on using?" This was certainly a tactic she wasn't familiar with, and it was succeeding in making her feel guilty and strangely queasy. "Is that why you use it?" he asked. "Protect a false sense of innocence while you fantasize about me descending on you in the dark? Would you like to experience what she did? Should I tie your hands behind your back and assault you with my teeth, or perhaps the tip of my blade? Would you like to see your blood on my lips? Or--"

"Shut up!" Six raised her hand to cover her ear, but he caught her wrist.

"Or perhaps," he continued, "you throw it in my face so often because you want the opposite. Do you want me to lay you down softly on a bed of broc flowers, shower you in kisses? Make sweet, sweet love to you as the dawn breaks?"

To be honest, she had considered, in a vague sort of way, that he was an attractive man. The sorts of things they could do together if they were so inclined. But whenever she did, an image of Caesar always took his place. "You really are an egomaniac if you think I want any of those things," she breathed. Caesar, a man who would never notice her. Who had sent her to Zion to die.

She could feel him chuckling again. "Indeed. You sound positively appalled. I bet," he said, the hand around her side moving slowly downwards, "that you won't stop me."

His fingers inched past her navel. "Please," she whispered.

"Please what?"

She couldn't think. Adrenaline from the storm, the proximity of Vulpes, and the rising feeling of betrayal that now came hand-in-hand with thinking of Caesar combined in her to form a paralytic, a strangely anxious and depressed panic. "Please... stop."

His hand was gone in an instant, and Six didn't know what she felt. She resented Caesar, maybe even was starting to hate him. But she still couldn't find room in her head for anyone else. And she didn't even know if this was what Vulpes really wanted. He was probably just trying to make her uncomfortable enough to stop bringing up the Ranger. She wondered what he would have done if she hadn't asked him to stop. She felt herself getting angrier and angrier. She accepted his insults  -- more or less -- and his general weirdness for the benefit of his help and she had never questioned it since that first day. But she was tired of it. She was tired of putting up with a sexist culture to try and impress Caesar, and she was tired of tip toeing around Vulpes for whatever scraps of help he decided to throw her way.

"I don't want to do this anymore," she whispered. But if Vulpes heard her, he didn't respond.


	7. Some Kind of Lucky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: liberties taken with canon dialogue.

 

\---

The next morning dawned bright and cold as she stumbled out of the sleeping pouch. Vulpes didn't speak, and Six didn't look at him as they got dressed and packed up camp. He settled his pack and was about to move out when Six stopped him.

"I want my rifle," she said. He raised an eyebrow. Six sighed. "Please."

"You were happy to let me carry it so far. Probably because it's about twenty pounds. I doubt you could even hold it steady to aim."

She sneered at him. "I know how to handle weapons. And I want mine. That is enough of a reason." Without another word he removed it from the pack and handed it over. She felt calmer, now. "And the ammo for it."

"It has a full magazine," he pointed out. "The ammo is heavy. With all the climbing we have to do--"

"I want all of it. It's mine. And I won't be doing any climbing with you, anyway, so don't worry about me slowing you down."

Vulpes stood very still and stared at her. After all their time together, she felt like this was the first time he was actually seeing her.

"You're leaving."

Six said nothing.

"You're giving up." Vulpes scoffed. "Over last night? After everything we've done, everything we've sacrificed--"

"We, is it?"

"Yes, _we_ , you stupid profligate! My time, my energy, my reputation, all suffering because of you. This mission is not only _your_ punishment."

Six sighed. "I don't care anymore, Vulpes. I'm sick of constantly trying to prove myself. Sick of playing this game. Wondering if I've been deferential enough to be aggressive. People treat you like a slave often enough you start to wonder if you are one. So please, prove to me I'm not a slave. Give me my ammo, and let me go."

Vulpes didn't move. "You think I treat you as a slave?" he asked quietly.

"You and everyone else! Give me my ammo!"

"I suppose... I suppose that my behavior was--"

"I don't care about your false apologies, Vulpes. Whatever elaborate con you were trying to pull on me is over. I'm not buying it anymore."

"You don't trust me?"

"I never trusted you. You never made any _sense_ ," she spat. "I listened to you because whatever your motives were, we seemed to have the same goals. Now I don't. I don't care anymore. I want out."

"Selfish ingrate. When our situations were reversed I didn't refuse help to you. I still worked with you even though I didn't trust you."

"Yeah, because we were both working for the Legion. Vulpes, my drive is gone. I'd care if I could, but," she shrugged. "I just don't think there's any point anymore. I'm never going to get anything out of this."

Vulpes strode over to her with a furious expression. She tried not to flinch as he got right in her face. "This isn't about you. This is about the future of the Legion. You have been given such a gift. You have the power to generate change. You should have listened to me and waited, but even now you have more chance than anyone else. Imagine what will happen if you return to Caesar with Graham's head in a sack? A mission he thought suicide! He is halfway to the realization that if you are competent, so must other women be if given the chance. There could be a Centurium of female fighters in your lifetime if you _cared enough_ to make it happen." Six tried to speak, but he got louder. "You still think like a profligate, after all this time. You are only in it for yourself. _You_ want Caesar's favor. _You_ want to be respected. Now, just because you're a bit uncomfortable, just because the road looks a bit too long for your taste, your hesitant loyalty to the Legion is gone. Caesar was right to call you mercenary."

Six yelled in frustration and turned away from him. "Why do you even care? You want the Legion to let women be warriors? Why the fuck do you even _care_?"

"Rest assured, Courier, it has nothing to do with you."

Six laughed. She couldn't help it. She was confused and frustrated and angry as hell, and she couldn't understand Vulpes or the reason he was trying so hard. She couldn't understand the point of anything anymore.

"Well," she said, trying to stifle her giggles. "That's certainly a relief. Very helpful. I trust you completely now."

"You shouldn't need to trust me to hear the truth when it's spoken to you."

"It would certainly help." Vulpes said nothing. Six's face hardened. "Then give me the ammo."

She heard the bag drop to the ground. Rustling. The slap of magazines on the ground. She turned and retrieved them. Vulpes' face was stony and blank. He really was letting her go. He tried to talk her around, and then let her make her choice to leave. She wanted to scream at him again, make him tell her why this was so important, and why, if it _was_ so important, he would let her walk away from it.

She stood and looked at him for a long moment. And honestly, for all that she wanted to leave, she couldn't actually think of anywhere to _go._

"If I do this, if I kill Graham and Caesar is impressed and everything you say comes to pass. Will you tell me why?"

"If everything I hope comes to pass, everyone in the Legion will know why."

"Oh, well, what the hell," she laughed. "It's not like I have anything better to do right now." He gave her a strange look. "But if you won't answer that question, at least answer this one. Why do you keep fucking with me like that?"

Vulpes shrugged. "I like to see people squirm."

"Finally, a straight, honest answer." She looked towards the north, the ragged canyon pass they would be taking. She looked back at the comparatively smooth way south. "From now on, I'm helping you, you're not helping me. Don't do it again, or I'm leaving."

Vulpes cocked his head to the side. "As you wish, Mercenary."

Six scoffed. "Besides. I don't want your _genital disease_."

Vulpes' eyes got wide. "My what?"

"The herpes you got from banging slaves with Lanius. Or perhaps from banging Lanius, I don't--"

Vulpes laughed suddenly. "Oh, my. I'd forgotten about that."

She raised an eyebrow. "You forgot about having herpes?"

He quieted his chuckles. "I have never engaged in anything with Lanius. I abhor the man. Besides. Our styles are... different."

"Yeah. I suppose Lanius wouldn't have implied he had a diseased dick just to fuck with someone."

"I didn't know the state of my nether regions affected you so greatly."

Six narrowed her eyes. "You're straying into dangerous territory."

"You brought it up," he said, unconcerned.

She ground her teeth and fought a desire to shoot him in the face.

\---

It wasn't enjoyable carting her heavy rifle and ammunition through the canyons, but she felt better having it with her. Besides, she used to carry a lot more than this before the Second War. She just had to get used to it again.

Or she could do what she meant to that morning, and leave. She thought on it often during the last stretch of their journey. But again, where would she go? She had helped the Legion take control of the New Vegas area, so she couldn't go back there. She couldn't go east. She couldn't go west into NCR controlled lands. She had no idea what was north of Zion. She heard there were settlements to the far south. How far south she didn't know, and she would have to go through Legion controlled areas to get there. And with her face on the money she didn't think she'd get through unseen.

So that was it. Disappear into the north, climbing through canyons and mountains hoping to stumble upon something, or travel south through Legion lands for hundreds of miles to start over in another shitty town.

Or. She could listen to Vulpes. And there was the slimmest of chances that everything she wanted could yet be achieved.

Not much of a choice when she thought about it. She had her rifle back, but not her freedom.

\---

Six left Vulpes behind as they neared Zion. She could tell he didn't like the idea. He probably didn't trust her at all anymore, now that she'd lost her blind loyalty to the Legion. But he was smart enough to know that if he was seen by any of the tribals the job would be much more difficult than it needed to be. As a woman, Graham wouldn't suspect she had Legion ties. For once sexism worked in her favor, she thought humorlessly.

There was a caravan ahead of her. They had spied it a few times on their travels. They devised a plan to approach and try to get a place travelling with them. She had a backstory all worked up.

The sound of guns and shouting echoed from up ahead. She climbed up to a small outcropping of rocks and moved forward to see what was happening around the corner. The caravan was receiving fire. Looking through her scope, she saw a group of tribals. And how very tribal they were. Their hair was twisted into locks and they were covered in some kind of paint. But they weren't wielding spears; their munitions were on par with her own. It was clear the caravan members, despite having numerous guards, were not long for this world. Six didn't want to reveal herself if in this situation if it could be helped. She waited, hidden, for the conflict to resolve itself.

The tribals, having finished with the caravan members, made their way towards the loot, and consequently her. They would probably shoot first and ask questions, well, never. So she would have to shoot first, first.

She picked them off carefully. They had good weapons but their armor left a great deal exposed. She quickly dispatched the hostile tribals and after waiting for a moment to survey her surroundings she jumped from the rocks and continued walking. She glanced at the dead caravaneers, noting the words Happy Trails on their packs. She snorted at the irony.

After crossing a bridge she heard more shots, and immediately dropped to the ground and rolled off the path. When she looked up she saw two tribals fighting on top of a boulder. She aimed her rifle, but waited to see who would win the fight, and if they would resume firing on her.

As it happened, the mysterious tribal did not fire on her. Simply waited. She got up warily, but it didn't seem like a trap.

"Hoi! White Legs don't leave survivors often. You're some kind of lucky, let me tell you," he said as she approached.

\---


	8. Arrival at Zion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Helpful reminder of tribal language:  
> ahk iss - friend  
> roo too nait - rest well  
> sohl tyeh - let's go  
> ya ah tahg - hello/good day
> 
> The rest should be clear in context.

 

 

 

 

 

"Hoi! White Legs don't leave survivors often. You're some kind of lucky, let me tell you," the tribal said as she approached.

"I didn't give them much of a chance," she replied with a grin. So those were Legion hopefuls that she killed. Oh well.

"Sorry we weren't fast enough to save your friends, though. The Dead Horses will remember them in our prayers." The kid actually looked sad as he said it, too. How cute. And he thought she was with the caravan, just as planned. Better than planned, really, as now there were no caravan members to deal with. "You should come with me now - Joshua Graham will want to meet a visitor from the civilized lands."

And so she went.

The kid was named Follows Chalk for some weird tribal reason and had a strange kind of naivety; apparently trusting of anyone who was not in White Leg clothing, but untroubled by the superstitions held by the rest of his tribe. Six tended to sneer at tribals, raiders, and junkies. Surprisingly, she found herself enjoying Chalk's company slightly. At least he spoke English. Vulpes had said not many of the tribe knew the language.

"There's a nice view from the top of that cliff, if you want to take a look."

They stopped at the summit and ate some of the plentiful banana yucca fruit while Follows Chalk told her of the two New Canaanite tribes in the area, named the 'Dead Horses' and the 'Sorrows', as though they were asking for hardship. And he told her about Joshua Graham. How he rallied them to work with Caesar, then rallied them to work against him. He must be damn charismatic, Six thought. Or maybe they were just all as trusting as Chalk.

They talked for a while and Six got the impression Chalk wasn't happy with tribal life. She sympathized, and asked, "What's with this obsession you seem to have with "civilization"?"

He told her a story about a familiar sounding musician he had met. "I couldn't believe that there was a place in this world where a man could do that. I promised myself then that one day I'd explore that world myself," he said, looking earnest as ever. Six smiled. He clearly wasn't as ignorant as the rest of his tribe; still scared of empty buildings. Maybe he had a chance, after all.

"Huh, I think I know that guy. Small world."

"Is it? I always heard it was rather large outside the valley. Well, wherever he is, I hope he's well."

Six had killed him, but she figured Chalk didn't need to know that. The traveler had an interesting pistol. She had stashed it somewhere and never went back for it (high-powered sniper rifles being more her thing at the time), but Chalk didn't need to know that, either. He would like to be in a civilized society, she thought, if he was eased into it.

And anyway, a war with the White Legs would kill his innocence just as much as the Wasteland would.

\---

They traveled for a few hours, and Six grew more apprehensive the closer they got to the Dead Horse camp. When Chalk said he would take her to Graham, it seemed too good to pass up. But now she wondered how she would kill Graham and get away if he were in the middle of an encampment of savages. There must be some way. Poison? She knew a little about how to survive in the wilderness, but many plants in this area she hadn't seen before. Maybe they were poisonous. Maybe they were not. She had the silenced 9mm if the option presented itself. All she could do was wait and see what she was working with, but it still put her on edge to not have a concrete plan.

They traveled down a river, avoiding traps under the water, and into a small camp. There weren't too many tribals around, and they mostly seemed to be carrying clubs and not guns. It looked good for getting out alive if they all turned hostile, but still. One against seven or eight was never the best odds. Luck favored the strong, and she knew she was not as strong as ten tribals, no matter what Vulpes said about her superiority complex.

She entered the cave.

"Hoi owslander. Zookah Joshua Graham?"

Excellent. The English was short lived, then. Six wondered why someone who couldn't communicate properly would be put at the entrance of the cave to welcome visitors. She supposed they didn't get many visitors. Or they were just stupid.

"Am I... looking for Joshua? Yes, I am. Can you tell me where he is?"

"You know our tongue. Smart owslandr. Joshua in high place of cave. You show respect, utman! Joshua is greatest warrior. You show him no respect, he show you thunder and fire."

Six rolled her eyes. "Umm... okay. Thanks for that. I sure would hate to be shown thunder and fire."

"Ha ha, funny owslander. Maybe soon dead owslandr."

Six's lip curled. "Back off, savage. I'm just here for a map out of this shithole valley, not kowtow to your messiah."

"Shaiss! would kill you myself but Joshua says no harm to visitors until harm done to us. Go, owslandr. Meet Joshua. We see how long you talk like that."

The woman turned away, clearly disdainful of Six's conversation. That was fine. She didn't come here to make nice with some dirty tribals. Six thought of Follows Chalk. The one who could speak English was kept busy following hunters, and that insolent savage was in charge of speaking with civilized traders. This tribe should welcome Legion rule.

Six made her way up the cave and soon found the man she was looking for.

He was cleaning guns. In case she got any ideas.

He was also covered head to foot in bandages, only a slit showing his pale blue eyes. They seemed to shine like the pistols he polished.

"We should have given you a better welcome on your first visit to Zion, but from what I hear the White Legs beat us to it."

He went on to talk more about White Legs, and a lot about God. His voice was deep and powerful; she could see how easily he made ignorant tribals believe in him. They probably thought he was divine himself. He bought her story about being a Happy Trails caravan guard immediately. After all the Legion assassins sent after him, he still didn't imagine that one would be female. It wouldn't be too difficult to get her silenced 9mm out of it's holster and shoot him in the head. He had his pistols, but they all looked to be unloaded for cleaning. If worst came to worst she could probably shoot her way out of the cave, and--

He continued, "And you're a courier, no less. Not the one I was expecting, but I suppose he wouldn't have come with a caravan."

Six felt like she hit a wall. It had been a long time since Primm, since Johnson Nash had told her about another mysterious courier. She had told herself her past didn't matter, and that was true enough. It had fallen to the back of her mind while Hoover Dam and everything else was going on, but she had never forgotten. And here, in this of all places, it was coming up again.

If Six was given a choice between finding out about the mysterious courier from her past and fulfilling the mission, she would pick Graham's head in a sack. But Caesar wasn't here, and who said she couldn't have both?

\---

Joshua Graham wanted walkie talkies, a compass, and a medical kit. What a world these people lived in. A bunch of savages who couldn't walk into a building to get their own medical supplies. But hopefully Graham would trust her after she secured the items. She had questions about the mysterious courier, and Graham sensed her curiosity. True to the nature she thought he had, not the incredibly optimistic one Chalk thought he had, he refused to speak with her on the subject until she helped him. So be it.

\---

Six delivered the objects to Daniel in the Sorrows camp. He was almost as naïve as Chalk, but not quite. He wouldn't part with any of his supplies, even when Six offered to pay for them.

"But, I have... caps. Many of them. Let me show you all of my fine caps."

He laughed. Six admitted she wasn't very good at bartering. "I'm sure your caps are fine, but I have to hold on to the supplies I have. Sorry," he said, and he looked sorry, too.

"Fair enough. Do you know where Joshua is?"

Daniel waved his hand towards the end of the canyon. "He's down there somewhere. I was hoping that you'd talk to him for me. Assuming he hasn't already talked you into fighting the White Legs."

"Wait, you don't want to fight them?"

"We cannot use any and all means available just to protect stone and water and a piece of sky. We have to hold on to our faith. Far more enduring. If we sacrifice grace for a piece of land, we may live in this valley, but we will no longer dwell in Zion. It's better for us to leave now."

"Oh." Six frowned. She didn't really understand what he was saying, but she did know that the Legion would follow them eventually, wherever they went. His pacifist nature wouldn't survive. He sounded like he'd rather the Sorrows die martyrs than take a stance, though, so she remained quiet. It wouldn't help to call him a gibbering idiot at this point in her deception.

Daniel smiled and put a hand on her shoulder, startling her. "I don't hold your nature against you. You're a -- an outsider. Fighting seems like the practical solution. But there's more than that at stake."

"Right. Well, yeah. I'll talk to Joshua about it."

He squeezed her shoulder. "Thank you. Even our Lord had doubts. Think it over, but listen to your heart. And do it quickly. We don't have much time."

He turned then and walked away. Six watched him go. Did they even want these weak tribals in the Legion, who would run instead of fight? Six shook her head. They weren't her concern. She went to find Graham.

\---

She found him walking through the river, alone, apparently deep in thought. As good an area for a sneak attack as any. The silenced 9mm wouldn't echo on the canyon walls. Or if she got close enough she could use the machete. But she wanted answers first.

"I delivered the supplies to Daniel."

He looked at her for a moment, then replied, "Yes, I know. And I suppose he had something he wanted you to talk to me about."

"He did, but there was something I wanted to talk about first."

"Ah, yes. The courier I mentioned earlier. Why do you want to know about him?"

"Call me curious."

"I'd rather call you Courier. Curiosity is not a luxury we have time for."

Six held back an irritated sigh. "You should make time. I'm not going to help you anymore if you don't talk to me."

"I doubt that. You seem to desire this information greatly. I imagine you'd do a lot for it."

She sneered. "If you weren't covered in bandages I'd think you were making a pass at me, Graham."

He laughed. "You don't know me as well as you think you do if you think I'd force someone to trade sexual favors."

"Or I know you just the right amount." Six stalked towards him. She was tired of running around for whatever scraps men decided to throw to her. The supplies were got, and she deserved answers. "You might have convinced these backwards tribals that your time in the Legion isn't important, but I know what men in red are capable of."

He raised an eyebrow at her. "You have experience with men in the Legion? Are you an escaped slave?"

"Now you're asking me questions when you haven't answered any of mine. I wonder how well that will go."

He looked at her consideringly. Six let him. Any conclusions he was drawing were doubtless completely wrong. Rain started to fall as she waited.

"A Frumentarius often will work as a courier in the employ of Caesar. They scout and gather intelligence. Ulysses was one of the best. I haven't heard of him in years, but of course for a man like that, that's a mark of doing his job well. The Legion has sent many assassins after me. I assumed he would show up eventually."

"That's all you got?" she asked.

"I don't know where he is, if that's what you're asking. He's a Frumentarius, he could be anywhere."

He looked like he was telling the truth. If that was the case it seemed it had nothing to do with her mysterious courier at all. Probably.

"I did hear rumors about a place called the Divide. I doubt he's there now, after all this time. But it's all I can tell you." He reached forward and put a hand on her shoulder, just as Daniel did. She itched to cut it off at the wrist. "I'm sorry I can't be more helpful. I heard many things about what the Frumentarii would do to their women. After this is all over, I hope you find him. And your restitution."

Six rolled her eyes and slit his throat.

\---

She used bandages from Graham's body to wrap his head carefully, then packed it in her bag. She filled the bag with datura root to disguise the smell. It wouldn't be pleasant travelling back to New Vegas with it, but it would be worth it to throw it at Caesar's feet. She also took his pistol. It was unique. She washed the blood from her face and hands.

As she made her way out of the canyon, she ran into Follows Chalk again. She was glad for the rain; it gave her an excuse for her black clothing to look wet.

"Ya ah tahg! Have you seen Joshua around? Daniel said you went to find him."

Six hesitated. "Yeah, I, uh, talked to him about your thoughts on civilization."

"Ya?" He looked excited. "What did he say?"

"He said... that a man must follow his heart. No matter where it leads him."

"Dank ni, ahk iss - I never would have had the growans to ask him myself. Hoo! I'm going to do it. After this is all over, I'm going to go explore civilization!"

Six hesitated again. It would not be pleasant if Chalk found out what was in her bag, but she couldn't leave him here. He wasn't as ignorant as the rest of the tribals. He wanted to better himself. And when the White Legs attacked, he would probably be killed. Storm drums against war clubs. It would be a massacre. The rest of the savages deserved it. But Six didn't want that fate for him.

"Why don't you come with me now?" she asked suddenly.

"What, and leave the tribe to fight White Legs on their own?"

"The tribes aren't going to fight. Daniel.. and Joshua.. are going to run away. They don't think you have a chance against the White Legs."

Chalk looked disappointed. "Joshua said Daniel wanted to do that. I guess he talked him into it, eh?"

"Yes. So there's really no point in sticking around anymore." Chalk didn't seem convinced. "And I'm leaving now, going back to civilization. I can take you there."

He considered that. "I should go say goodbye to Joshua. Wish them luck on their journey."

"There's no time," Six snapped.

Chalk looked at her. "It would only take a few minutes," he pointed out.

"A few minutes that I don't have. You can come with me now or not." A part of her hoped that he would refuse. It would make her journey easier. But another part, the part that refused to be quiet, hoped that he wanted civilization badly enough to agree.

And he did. "It would be better than travelling on my own," he said. "I'm not much of a fight to a Yao Guai. Sure, sohl tyeh."

This was a bad idea, Six knew. She should have just left him to die.

She let him stop on the way out to tell a Sorrow to pass his goodbye on to Joshua.

 

 

\--- 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: If it seemed out of the blue that Six was trying to buy supplies from Daniel, it kind of was. I just couldn't not put that failed speech check in. It made me laugh out loud during my playthrough. Ditto on some of the Sneering Imperialist dialogue.


	9. The Southern Passage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Helpful reminder of tribal language:  
> ahk iss - friend;  
> roo too nait - rest well  
> sohl tyeh - let's go  
> ya ah tahg - hello/good day 
> 
> The rest should be clear in context.

Six warned Chalk that she was meeting with another traveler, but Vulpes was not where she had left him, and she could find no sign of him in the area. 

"Perhaps the White Legs found him, maybe," Chalk said, with regret.

"Yeah. Maybe." But privately she disagreed. It was much more likely that he had realized their endeavor was bound to be fruitless and left her. But she had her Pip-Boy still, and she could find her way back.

They made their way south through the canyons without him.

\---

They were making much better time than she had on the journey north. At this rate they would be back to New Vegas within a few days. While Vulpes had kept them at a slow crawl, Six got up at sunrise and never stopped moving until the dark made the canyons dangerous. Every time she thought of resting the memory of telling Follows Chalk they didn't have five minutes to spare for goodbyes would fill her with guilt.

Also the knowledge that the datura would disguise the smell of decapitated head for only so long. It made her slightly queasy whenever she opened the bag to get packaged food. She tried to stick to fresh-caught game, and only opened the bag away from her companion.

Chalk didn't mind the pace, but then he wasn't carrying much. He offered to take the bag from her and she had almost screamed at him to leave her alone. She had managed to carry on with Arcade reasonably well even though she had sold him into slavery. She felt guilt at it, but it never threatened to overwhelm her. And Arcade was actually a relatively good man. Graham was not.

She looked over at Chalk. He was laying on the ground eating potato chips from a box. He would throw one up in the air and try to catch it in his mouth. She could barely see in the light of the fire, but she thought she could make out a hint of a smile on his face.

Without thinking of what she was doing, she rose from her bedroll and went to lay down beside him. The ground was cold, but he was warm. He paused in his chip-throwing. He shifted the blanket over them both and said, "Chilly tonight, eh?"

Strange, how spending a week traveling through canyons and barely speaking could make her feel so protective. And so guilty, because all he really needed protecting from was her.

She didn't regret killing Graham. She would throw his head at Caesar's feet if it was the last thing she did. After that, well. Perhaps she would wander, with Chalk. Without the weight of Graham's head it could be better. It was a much more appealing thought than wandering on her own. Perhaps that's why she lied to him, gave him the permission of a dead man to follow his dreams. She could couch it in pleasanter terms, say she did it to help him, to raise him up from the savagery he lived with. Even say it was to save his life from the White Legs.

But Six knew who she was. She laid on the hard ground and remembered the new name Vulpes had given her, Mercenary, and she knew it was true. She had done it for herself; the same reason she had done everything she could remember.

Maybe before she got shot in the head she had been a good person, but she certainly wasn't now.

She said nothing as Chalk's warm arm went around her shoulders and made a pillow for her head, just accepted the warmth and security it provided.

"Roo too nait, ahk iss."

\---

The next evening Chalk roasted a rabbit over the fire and asked her what they were going to do when they reached civilization.

She stared at the dancing flames and said, "I have to meet with my employer."

"Oh, right. Tell them what happened to the caravan?"

Six was momentarily confused until she remembered Happy Trails. She laughed, slightly bitterly. She had lied to Chalk so many times she couldn't even remember them all.

"I'm just a courier," she said. "My employer won't care about the caravan."

"They wouldn't care that those people died?"

"No." She looked up from the fire. Chalk looked unhappy. Her stomach clenched. "Not everything about civilization is good, you know," she said harshly. He looked up at her, but she couldn't stop. "You know about the wars and the gambling and there is so much evil in the world, but you wanted to come, anyway. Don't get squeamish now."

He looked away. She sighed. "Sorry."

"It's okay, ahk iss. I know you are saddened by the loss of your friend. I don't hold it against you." He smiled at her. "Even when you make us climb all day without stopping for lunch."

Six couldn't return his smile. He thought all her agitation was over Vulpes going missing. Of course he did. Even someone as naïve as Chalk noticed how strangely she had been acting, and he thought the best of her. He would never assume she was hiding terrible secrets.

She changed the subject.

"How long would it have taken for the Dead Horses to make you a full scout?"

Chalk rotated the rabbit and settled back down. "A few years, maybe. It doesn't just happen. You prove yourself on a big hunt, or some other thing, you become a scout. Whenever they think you are ready, I guess."

"What if they never did?"

"Why wouldn't they?"

"I'm just saying. Hypothetically."

"Eh?"

"Hypothetically. It means... pretend. Pretend they never give it to you. What would you do?"

"Your fancy words," he said, smiling. "I can't pretend they wouldn't give it to me. I was a good scout."

Six sighed.

"Why do you ask?"

Six chose her words carefully. She didn't want to tell Chalk she was working for the Legion yet. He would find out soon, it was unavoidable. But she wasn't ready.

"My employer. I've done great work for him. But he won't let me be a... full member."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm a woman."

Chalk stared at her. "What does that got to do with it?"

Six laughed then, really laughed. "That's my feeling on it, too."

"Well, Iss, you don't have to work for him, you know? The world is a big place, eh?"

Her laugh died off and her eyes once again found the fire. The world was a lot smaller now that she helped the Legion take over New Vegas.

"I think this rabbit is done."

Six moved to the other side of the fire and sat next to Chalk. They ate in silence and when she was finished she leaned her head against his shoulder and took comfort from his steadiness that she didn't deserve.

\---

They exited the Northern Passage and there was still no sign of Vulpes. Six hadn't been expecting one, but the abandonment hurt more than she would have imagined. Another rejection by a man in red, another betrayal; she really shouldn't have been surprised. What was a raindrop in a storm, after all?

She refused to think about the night she learned those words.

"Wow, look at that! Is that where we are going?"

Chalk was in awe of the Vegas skyline. Six smiled before she remembered Caesar wanted it all torn down.

"No." At his crestfallen expression, she added, "Not yet, at least. I have to talk to my employer first."

They stopped at an abandoned house north of Vegas to have lunch. Six was antsy all through the meal, because the other reason she stopped here was to leave Chalk in a safe place while she delivered herself and Graham to Caesar. There was no way she was having him come along for that.

When she asked him to wait there for a few nights, he replied, "Sure, okay. I'll wait behind. Not like I'm not used to that," and she almost screamed in frustration. Once she wasn't carrying around a sack full of decapitated head, hopefully the guilt would fade. It had to.

She found some pre-war clothing in the bedroom and gave it to him to wear. "If I don't come back in three days," she said, without meeting his eyes, "You should probably take off without me. Just... if anyone in red armor bothers you, just listen to them, okay?"

"Men in red? Does that mean Caesar's Legion is in the area?"

She couldn't avoid that question. "Yes."

"Joshua says--"

"Joshua was right the first time!" she shouted. She should have prepared him better. She should have prepared herself better, but she still didn't know what to say. All she knew was that Graham's head was in her bag.

And she was so close to getting rid of it.

"You mean, you support the Legion?" Chalk asked, and to his credit he didn't sound angry or betrayed, only curious.

She wanted to say yes. She wanted to say no. What she really wanted to say was, so did Joshua and the only reason he stopped was because he got fired and he was bitter. But she didn't have the time or energy for it.

"Just, do what they say, alright? They probably need good scouts like you."

"I didn't leave one tribe to join another, Iss."

She put her face in her hands. "Fine, then, if I don't come back, just go... just go... wherever. The world is your oyster."

"What is an oyster?"

She pulled her hair in frustration.

"Stahp," he said quietly, and put his hands on hers. She released her grip on her hair and he brought her hands down. He didn't let go. She didn't look at him. "If you don't want to go see this employer of yours, don't go."

"It's not that simple, Chalk," she said. "I have to go."

"Even if you might not come back?"

"I'm sure I'll be able to come back. I just said that, just in case. I have to go, but I do feel... protective. Of you."

She glanced up and Chalk was smiling. "Of course. You took me from my home and now I am your responsibility. Burden of the civilized woman, eh? But I was going to leave sometime anyway. You guided me here, and that's all you promised to do. It is over now. And I am not so helpless, you know."

Six rather thought she wanted to kiss him at that moment, or maybe just hold him close, but she saw the bag sitting by the door and she could imagine, through the bandages, through the datura and the thick leather of the sack itself, that Graham's pale blue eyes were watching.

She pulled her hands from Chalk's and quickly snatched up the bag. "I'll be back," she said, with the best smile she could fake, and left.

\---

Six had just passed through Freeside's northern gate when Vulpes appeared at her shoulder. She managed to control her startled yelp and continued toward the Strip.

He fell in step beside her. "Have a nice time playing with the savages? You must have, you brought one home with you."

Figures he would know about that already. "And Graham's head. That was just the whole point."

"And as long as you have the delivery I shouldn't begrudge you a souvenir?"

"I don't have to explain myself to you. I'm going to throw this head at Caesar's feet to see the look on his face. And then I'm leaving."

"Why leave now that you've completed the task?" he asked.

Six scoffed. "Yeah, I completed it. But we both know it's not going to make a difference. And what the hell do you care; you left me in Zion. You thought I was going to fail, too."

"I knew you did not fail. I did not leave Zion until you did. When I saw your travelling partner, I simply thought that three would be a crowd."

Six stopped walking and looked at him. "What?"

Vulpes raised an eyebrow at her. "You seemed quite comfortable with him." Six shook her head disbelievingly and continued walking. "And indeed, it seems you enjoyed that trip so much you are eager to get back to him."

"It's not like it matters, Vulpes. Caesar is never going to change his mind. I said I would help you, but then you disappeared. So I made new plans."

"You have. In the span of a week and a half you have decided to throw away everything you have worked for for the sake of a man. How quaint. Tell me, are you in love?"

"No, I'm not. Forgive me if I like spending time with someone who actually likes me for a change."

"He doesn't like you. He doesn't even know you, does he? That's why you didn't bring him with you on this little delivery."

"Do you have a point? Or is this just more of that 'irritating people' thing you like to do?"

"In fact, I do. If you are basing your decisions off what you think Caesar will say, perhaps you should listen to him first. You have killed the Malpais Legate, after all. Caesar may not be as unrewarding as you think."

"Right, well, I wasn't about to walk in there and tell him to fuck off. If he has something to say, I'm sure he'll say it. But I'm not holding my breath."

"I just hope your mind isn't so clouded by your _other plans_ that you fail to recognize success when you hear it."

"Either he'll say, 'Courier! What are you doing here? I never expected you to come back. Praetorians, at arms!' or he'll say, 'Courier! I can't believe you killed him while all my Frumentarii have failed! Please, take your rightful spot as the best warrior in the Legion."

Vulpes snorted inelegantly. "Perhaps, but it _might_ fall somewhere in the middle. Which would still be success. You remember that there is more than your pride at stake?"

"You remember that I don't care anymore?"

She saw Vulpes giving her an incredulous look out of the corner of her eye.

"Okay, fine, I do. A little. You just irritate me so greatly I have to argue."

Vulpes ignored that. "We are close to a tipping point. Soon you could be training other women to wield the machete. I trust that you won't disregard that in favor of wandering around the wasteland with your new boyfriend."

"If you're so worried about it, why did you fuck off and let us travel together? You could have been with me the whole way home, drilling this stuff in my head like you used to do."

Vulpes smirked at her. "Oh, did you miss me?"

Six rolled her eyes.

"I didn't think so. Your nights were much warmer than mine."

"Lost your sleeping pouch?"

"Nothing is as nice as sharing body heat, you must agree."

They reached the Strip and Six was saved from having to respond. All the tents were gone. A Centurion came up to Vulpes and directed him to the Lucky 38. Apparently Caesar had changed his mind about the old world sin.

They took the elevator to the penthouse.


	10. Well, Fuck Me

 

 

The smell of rotting flesh and sickly sweet datura quickly filled the area. 

"Well, fuck me."

If Caesar had looked surprised at their arrival, he was shocked now. Six savored the sight. Caesar on his throne, surrounded by Praetorians, back to the great vista of New Vegas and the Mojave, quite possibly the most powerful man in thousands of miles. She found success when he thought it impossible. The old pride at pleasing him started to creep back in. The old hope. She tried to quash it. The look on his face was all she needed. Now he would reject her again, and she could leave with the knowledge she had done all she could.

"I truly did not expect this, Courier. How did you manage it? I assume Vulpes had something to do with it."

"You instructed me to refrain, my Lord--"

"He wasn't even there! I did this, _I_  did!" Caesar raised an eyebrow, and Six nearly lost it. She managed to keep her voice below a shout, but only just. "I assassinated Kimball. I blew up the NCR monorail. I wiped out Forlorn Hope without help and destroyed the Brotherhood of Steel. I killed House and that's the _only reason you are sitting in this room right now!_ Why would you think I couldn't handle one burned Legate?"

Silence fell, and as it lengthened Six worked hard to maintain eye contact with Caesar. It was pointless to argue with him, but she couldn't help it. Just like with Vulpes; Caesar got under her skin and she was livid before she knew what was happening. And at this point, she might as well keep being angry. To back down now would be weakness.

"Alright," Caesar said quietly. "Tell me, how did you do it, Courier?"

He didn't look like he believed her, but there was something in the tone of his voice that said he might.

"I slit his throat with a machete."

"And you came out uninjured?"

"Well, it's not like I offered him arena rules."

He laughed and leaned back in his chair. "You have done many great things for the Legion, Courier. I have never tried to hide or deny that. But perhaps I have been underestimating your usefulness. I have lost many Frumentarii to the Utah, but you came out unscathed. I expect that Graham never imagined a woman to be working for me, and that was instrumental to your success."

"Among other things," she muttered.

"Of course. If I had sent any other woman on this task, they would have failed, element of surprise or not. It is only you who continues to perform above my expectations."

Six rather doubted that. She had met many women she was confident would have been able to kill Graham just as easily. But it didn't seem like an issue to press just then.

"It makes me curious, Courier. Something I have long wondered. Did those bullets to the brain cut that weakness out of you, or were you always an exceptional specimen?"

The Praetorians stopped scanning the room and looked at her then, and she saw Vulpes turn and glance at her from the corner of her eye. But she had no answer for them.

"I don't know, my Lord. I have no memory of before."

"Yes, Arcade told me. Amnesia, he called it. But you remembered how to speak, and you couldn't have learned such skill with guns in a year. But Arcade says that your other memories are unlikely to return at this point. A shame. Maladies of the brain hold a special interest to me now."

A fascinating case study, Six was sure; Arcade certainly enjoyed theorizing about it. Apparently he found someone more willing than her to talk with him.

"Forgive me, Lord, but I am slightly more concerned with the future than the past."

He laughed. "You have proved your point, Courier. There is no reason for you to be kept inside washing clothes. There are a few things I think could do with your special touch. Come back tomorrow and I'll see what I have for you." He waved his hand at her, a dismissal. "Vulpes, stay."

"So, I'm a Frumentarius now?"

For the second time, Caesar was surprised, but he quickly recovered, and smiled wanly. "I should have foreseen that. Of course you want the title. And if I told you to think of yourself as one, that wouldn't be enough for you, would it?"

Vulpes gave her a hard look, but she ignored him. "No."

"Frumentarii report to Vulpes, not to me. Are you tiring of my company, Courier?"

There was a time, not long ago, when Six would have done or said anything to remain in Caesar's company. And there was still a small part of her that twinged at the words. But her infatuation had steadily declined since the battle at Hoover Dam, and her answer came easily. As would his, she supposed.

"I don't wish for special treatment, Lord Caesar. If it would please you and Vulpes, I would rather be a true Frumentarius than a false one."

Six could hear a clock ticking. She was very aware of the feel of the carpet beneath her boots, the color of the perfectly preserved sofa, the grain of the wood in the table between her and Caesar, the red of the Praetorians' garments. This was it. All his pretty words before meant nothing if he did not grant her this. And she couldn't focus on him in the silence. Instead she looked out of the window at the Mojave and waited.

"All right."

Her mind ground to a halt. She could hear him talking about accommodations, armor, pay rates, and she understood the words, but she couldn't concentrate on them. It worked. It actually worked. A small voice in the back of her mind said sadly that of course it worked this time; she didn't want it anymore.

\---

After leaving the Lucky 38 Six walked slowly back to the Casa Madrid, watching her feet and her mind reeling too quickly to grasp the separate thoughts. It wasn't until an hour later, when Vulpes returned to the room to find her sitting on the bed, that she realized she hadn't meant to come back here. Chalk was waiting for her.

But that was before.

Vulpes smiled when he saw her. A real smile. It looked odd on him. "What success today!" He began to remove his outer armor and drop it on the ground. "I thought you were going to doom us when you refused an honorary title. Oh, I wanted to slap you. But this -- I didn't let myself think that -- oh, it was a gamble, but you won it."

He stood in front of her and grabbed her hands. She felt like she couldn't process his excitement; after the shock of the day and the unnerving strangeness of his open, demonstrative happiness she had nothing to say. She didn't even know the correct facial expression. He noticed her flat affect and his face fell into suspicion. The grip on her hands tightened minutely.

"You didn't want this, did you? You wanted to go back to your savage boyfriend secure in your failure." She didn't respond. He dropped her hands and walked to the window. "Oh, but maybe you are weak after all. You lost all your determination, your strength of mind, over an ignorant boy. And if it could be lost, perhaps you never had it at all."

She felt her anger rising, was about to stand, to shout, but suddenly she was exhausted. "Don't try to bait me, Vulpes, I'm not in the mood."

Maybe that was all he was trying to do, because he came and sat next to her on the bed. He looked as tired as she felt.

"What do you want?" he asked.

"I don't know," she answered.

"Tomorrow you will be fitted for armor. You can walk the streets of New Vegas in red." He paused. "Do you want that?"

"It means I have to give up--" Vulpes put a hand on her shoulder, and she stopped.

"Do you want that?" he asked again.

Six hesitated. "Yes."

"Good. Then you know what to do until tomorrow. Then you will make the next decision."

"I could decide to leave now. Chalk is waiting for me."

"And how long did you tell him to wait?"

She smiled slightly despite herself. "How did you know I gave him a time limit?"

"It's what you would do."

She rolled her eyes. "Three days."

"Then you have three days to make that decision. You might as well wear the armor for one of them."

She laid down on the bed, swinging her legs around Vulpes and rolling over to the far side. There was no bedroll in the room anymore, and it wasn't like they were strangers at sleeping near each other. She thought she would feel guilt as he settled next to her, and maybe there was a bit, but mostly she felt relieved. She had time.

When Vulpes' hand came hours later, seemingly unconsciously, to rest on her arm, she left it there.

\---

Vulpes snatched the armorer's wrist and snarled at him. "Watch your hands or I'll cut them off."

"I have to get a feel for the curve, sir." He didn't quite leer at her, but it was close. "I've never made a breastplate like this before."

Vulpes eyed him, picking up a newly forged machete and fingering it. "Do what you must," he said simply.

The rest of the fitting passed with only minor groping, and as the metal cooled Vulpes took her to some scribes who were in charge of pay rates. It was incredibly exciting and incredibly dull at the same time.

They returned to pick up the armor, and Vulpes helped her put it on.

"It takes repetition to don and doff the armor quickly. The laces twist easily and the metal can stab into the skin if it's crooked."

When fully dressed, Six asked Vulpes to leave her. He seemed to understand she wanted to do this alone.

\---

She returned to the room a few hours later.

"Was it everything you dreamed it would be?" he asked with a smirk.

She smiled at him. She was in a good mood. "Well, I dreamed I would be a Praetorian. No offence." Vulpes scoffed. "I got a lot of strange looks, but nothing more than that. Everyone I talked to was respectful. I mean, you could tell that some of them didn't mean it, but they still were."

"I should hope so. I announced last night that you were a fully fledged Frumentarius and anyone who had something to say about it was free to speak their mind from the top of a cross."

Six just smiled again. She supposed an order from a man was probably necessary for the soldiers to take her seriously right now. But it was progress. She had armor. She was getting paid. She was Legion.

Vulpes touched her waist, and she jumped back. "Did you want to keep it on?" He cocked his head to the side. "I will admit, you look very fetching in it and if you wanted to celebrate the day with some role-play I could see my way to agreeing."

"It wouldn't be role-playing; I _am_  a Frumentarius. Unless you're suggesting you want to play the role of the dissolute whore this time."

Vulpes looked considering. Six threw a pillow at him.

She began untying the laces that held the breastplate and the backplate together.

"If you untie them completely it will be very time consuming to put it back together. Don't you remember how I would take it off?"

"I wasn't watching you undress, you know."

He chuckled and reached for her waist again. Six sighed and let his quick fingers loosen the ties. "Your loss," he said quietly.

"Is it?" she whispered.

"I suppose this way you get me to put my hands on you."

"Shut up. Anyway, all I have to do to get you to put your hands on me is to stop saying no."

He smirked. "You think that word is an impediment to me? Perhaps the answer is that I don't want to put my hands on you."

"He says, moments after putting his hands on me."

"And I didn't hear you say no."

"This is a bit different than--"

"Arms up."

She lifted her arms and he pulled the armor over her head. With only the red fabric she felt surprisingly cold and exposed. When he turned to set down the armor she quickly walked to the bed and got under the blanket. He joined her after removing his own armor.

"You're shivering."

"Tomorrow," she said. "Tomorrow I have to make more decisions."

"Yes," he answered.

She shuddered again, and he covered her arm with his own. It was warm. She wanted to burrow into the warmth, wrap him around her to ward off the morning. But that didn't make sense. The morning would come regardless.

And, she thought, it would probably send mixed signals to start cuddling. Best not.

\---

She opted for regular clothing the next morning. No need to strap herself into Legion clothes if she decided to go back to Chalk. She told Vulpes she would be back in an hour and went to find Arcade. She didn't pretend to hope he would be happy to see her. But, perhaps selfishly, she wanted to talk to him before making her decision.

And also, in case this was the last time she saw him, she wanted to apologize. Perhaps that was also selfish. She doubted it would mean much to him.

She found him sitting in the clinic, reading a text. She smiled sadly before entering.

"I'm back, and I don't even have anything for you to fix," she said.

Arcade looked up. His face was blank. "Congratulations. On that, and on becoming a Frumentarius. Mission successful, eh?"

She sat next to him. "Sure."

"You don't sound very thrilled." He folded over a page and closed his book. "Having second thoughts? Finally?"

"You could say that."

"A bit late, now."

Six shrugged. "I could go. They wouldn't find me. Since Vulpes is in charge of the Frumentarii they wouldn't even be looking."

"That must be so nice for you," he said flatly.

She said nothing. It was a terrible idea to come here. She should give her apology and leave immediately.

"Though I find it difficult to imagine what would possibly convince you to leave after you achieved what you wanted."

"I'm sorry, Arcade, I shouldn't have come here. I know you don't like seeing me, and you have every right. I don't deserve to be able to talk to you."

He paused for a moment. "Well, it's not so bad." He leaned toward her and whispered, "There aren't a whole lot of people to talk to around here."

"I don't understand you, Arcade. You should hate me."

"Oh, I do hate you, don't worry. But honestly. There is no one to talk to. I kind of want to go back to being Caesar's private doctor. Aside from not being enslaved, obviously."

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't know what I should've done, but I shouldn't have done that. It's unforgivable."

"Jeeze, what happened to you in the last two months? It's a whole new Six sitting next to me."

"I don't know. I lost faith in the Legion, after which they promoted me. It feels a lot like getting shot twice in the head."

"Well, you would know." Six smiled thinly. "Where would you go if you left?"

She shrugged. "South, probably."

"Just wandering?" she nodded. "Alone?" She bit her lip.

"There is someone who would travel with me. A tribal I met in the Utah. I don't know. I haven't really done well by him, either."

"Color me shocked."

"I'm sorry, I should go--"

"No, you don't get to make that decision. If you really are sorry, you'll sit here and listen to every barb I fling at you, and continue to talk to me. Because that's your punishment. It's not very dramatic, but my options are limited here."

She looked at him. His face was serious, with one eyebrow raised. She looked at the ground. She smiled a bit.

"So tell me, are you in love with this guy or something?" he asked.

Six laughed. "No. I am not. I just like him. And I feel responsible for him. I've done things that if he knew what they were he would hate me."

"What did you do?"

"I killed his mentor and then pretended he was still alive so I could convince him to travel with me."

"Ah. That's pretty shitty of you."

"I don't think his mentor was all that good of a guy, to be honest. And it was the mission. He had to die."

"Alright, Six. You clearly came here for advice. And I'm going to give it to you. This guy is probably better off without you." Six swallowed thickly. "You look like you know that already, so good. At least you're not completely stupid. If you have to lie to him and keep secrets to hang on to him, just to keep him from hating you, that's actually a bad thing. He doesn't deserve that. Now, I don't know everything about the situation, so I don't know if you should tell him the truth or not. But at the least you shouldn't go on travelling with him and keeping that secret. That's pretty horrific, Six."

She tried valiantly not to cry. It almost worked.

"Secondly, and I'm loathe to say more importantly because I don't want to do downplay the terrible things you're lying about, but still. You broke the Mojave, Six. You destroyed New Vegas and gave it to the Legion. They have it, now. But you've actually become a member of a society that oppresses and enslaves women. You can't run away from that. I think you have a responsibility to use it and try to continue the progress. In twenty years time, fifty, the Legion may be in control of thousands of people, and they might look back at their history books and say, 'Can you believe we used to think women were worthless?' And if you get them to admit they were wrong about women, then eventually they might rethink their stance on homosexuality, or slavery in general, or any of their terrible shit. You owe it to this world you helped create to try and make it the best version of itself possible."

"God, Arcade." She wiped her face on her sleeve. "You're so good. Why do you even bother talking to me?"

"Because you're a history-maker, Six. Whether you like it or not. And I shudder to think what the world could become if I let you go on blundering around haphazardly."

"Arcade Gannon, saving the world one nudge at a time."

"Also, if you get to be big and powerful enough, you'll be able to arrange my freedom," he said with a smile that didn't quite hide how serious he was.

"My third wish is that the genie be set free?" she asked quietly.

"No one wishes the genie free."

"Well, I already won New Vegas and became a member of the Legion. So if I ever get that third wish, I will. I promise."

\---

That afternoon, Vulpes took her on a long, meandering walk through the buildings and fields outside Vegas. It was quiet and calming after her morning with Arcade. But it couldn't last much longer. The sun was a few hours from setting and she had to decide what to do about Chalk. Before this morning, she thought that even if she decided to stay Legion, she should go say goodbye to him. That it was the right thing to do. But after talking to Arcade she wondered if it would be better for him if he never saw her again. A goodbye would be a lie like the rest of their relationship.

Or, she could just travel with him and keep lying. It might be horrific, but if he never found out, it would never hurt him.

"It's time for another decision," Vulpes said.

"I suppose it is, at that."

"If you chose to stay, I have a mission for you. You might be interested in it."

"What is it?"

Vulpes considered his words. "There is only so much I can tell you. If you decide to leave, it isn't information you need to have."

"Well, what can you tell me?"

"Have you heard the Divide?"

She sucked in a quiet breath, shocked. "Yes."

"What have you heard?"

"Not much," she answered truthfully.

Vulpes paused. "And yet you were surprised when I mentioned it. Perhaps you've heard more than a little."

"I heard..." She swallowed. "I heard that there might be someone there. Someone who might know me somehow. From before." She shrugged, and Vulpes continued. "There are a lot of maybes. But I had thought about checking it out, when I got the time."

Vulpes smiled, but it looked more like a grimace. "Well," he said, "now you have the time."

"What would you want me to do there?"

"No. That's it. Decision time."

"Even if I leave, I can still go to the Divide."

"Indeed you could, but without more information than you have now my interests will be protected."

They came to a low, broken wall and Six sat down on it. Vulpes sat next to her. They didn't speak for a while. Six knew what her answer was. She knew it from the moment Caesar made her Frumentarii.

"I'm going to stay."

Vulpes wasted no time. "There is a man there, in the Divide, one who has worked as a Frumentarii for many years. I need a message brought to him."

Six thought about this.

"He worked as a courier, didn't he?"

"Yes."

"Ulysses."

He eyed her. "I suppose you heard that name from the Malpais Legate."

"Yes. He worked for you?"

"For a short while, anyway."

"So... If he did know me before, I mean, there's a possibility that you know that he knew me." She hesitated. "Did you know?"

"I was promoted only shortly before the last time I saw him. He did not report to me for very long."

"Wait, he deserted?"

"He is on an extended mission. We do not keep in regular contact."

"Oh." Six paused. "You didn't answer my question, though."

He turned and looked at her.

"I had heard of you, yes."

Instant, hot fury coursed through her. She stood up and faced him. "And you never told me? Why not? What did you think gave you the right to keep that from me?" she shouted.

"You never gave me the impression that you cared about your past."

"Maybe because I never knew anything about it! We don't sit down every night and hold hands and talk about our fucking feelings! That's the worst excuse I ever heard."

"There are reasons I didn't tell you. There are reasons I never mention his existence to anyone. Most think he is dead or else travelling far, far away from here. If I told you I had heard of you, you would have wanted more information. You would have wanted to go find him. You weren't ready." Six said nothing, only fumed. "Besides, I only heard of your existence. I do not believe he ever met you, either, simply heard of you. It was just a story of a rumor."

"At least I would have known that! That I was somebody that people told stories and rumors about! What were the stories? You don't just 'hear of someone's existence'. No one says, 'Hey, I heard about this girl that's alive somewhere,' and that's the end of it. What did he tell you?" she demanded.

"You were a courier. You often worked in a place called the Divide. He had found it in his travels. Later, it was annexed by the NCR, and I sent Frumentarii, and later legionaries, to take control."

Her eyes narrowed. "There's more than that. Your agent wouldn't put in a report that a courier worked there on occasion. That's not report-worthy."

Vulpes smiled. "Is it not? Your reports better include things like that. But you are correct that there is a bit more. It _seemed_  as though you might have been working for the NCR. Although as a courier it's possible you had no scruples whom you worked for, or perhaps the NCR tricked you in some way."

"Into doing what?"

He eyed her for a moment. "You blew it up."


	11. Chin Dee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Helpful reminder of tribal language:
> 
> ahk iss - friend  
> shaiss! - shit (or any profane expletive, I imagine)  
> varoom - why  
> tag - day  
> chin dee - devil  
> hah go - come here  
> vass - what  
> geh bits ah - get away
> 
> The rest should be clear in context.

 

 

"It _seemed_ as though you might have been working for the NCR. Although as a courier it's possible you had no scruples whom you worked for, or perhaps the NCR tricked you in some way."

"Into doing what?"

He eyed her for a moment. "You blew it up."

Six laughed.

Vulpes didn't.

"What do you mean, I blew it up? The NCR doesn't really have the ability to blow up towns, anyway. I mean, Boulder City, but that place was abandoned and they just filled it with mines. I don't know anything about explosives."

"There were Pre War missiles stored there. You activated them."

"How? How could I do that?"

"I'm not entirely sure. It seems one of your packages had a code for them."

Six considered this. "That would strongly imply that I didn't know what was in the package."

"Perhaps," Vulpes agreed. "But then, it didn't activate until you were far enough away to escape unscathed."

"I can't believe this. If you thought I was NCR you wouldn't keep that a secret. You wouldn't..." Six floundered. "You wouldn't do any of the things you're doing!"

"You have very little idea of why I do the things I do."

That was certainly true. She might know things about Vulpes that other people did not, but she didn't know everything. Not even close.

"As it is, I do not believe you were working for the NCR. And even if you were, you had lost all your memories. I watched you closely. An NCR agent would not blow up their monorail, or assassinate their president, or fight their soldiers and officers at the Battle of Hoover Dam. I am sure of your loyalty, even if at times you are not."

"Your confidence in my Legion loyalty never wavers, huh?"

"Your loyalty is not to the Legion; it is to your place in it. I never doubt that."

She didn't respond. It seemed pretty accurate. Instead, she thought about accidentally blowing up a town. Arcade was right, it seemed she blundered her way into more history than she was prepared for. She definitely didn't do it on purpose. She couldn't even imagine doing such a thing for the NCR. But... she could imagine doing it for the Legion. And if she would do it at all, who's to say she was never on the other side? She couldn't, not really.

But she couldn't remember it, couldn't _really_  imagine it, and there wasn't much she could do about it now.

"Alright, so. I guess that brings my total of settlements I've razed personally to three."

"Four."

"What?"

"You're forgetting Helios One."

"I am. Wait, how did you -- oh, never mind."

"It is about a five day journey to get to the Divide from here--"

"Is it really five days, or five days at your pace which means it's about an hour away?"

Vulpes looked momentarily nonplussed. "Oh," he said. "Yes, I travelled slowly through the Northern Passage, but there was a very real possibility that you would die facing the Malpais Legate. It was not something I wished to hasten to."

"I think that's the sweetest thing you've said to me."

"All my hopes and dreams are riding on you."

"All of them? That's a lot of pressure."

"Most of the big ones, yes. But as I was saying, five days, depending on the conditions of the roads once you reach it. I have not been there, but as it's been bombed you can imagine it won't be the easiest of terrain. You will find the road west of Primm, near a wrecked caravan. I trust you are familiar with that area, at least."

"Yeah."

"So I will expect you back between two to three weeks." He rose, and took an envelope from an inside pocket.

Six stood as well. "That seems to be erring on the side of me getting a broken leg."

"Anything can arise when you are on mission," he said simply and held out the message.

She took it uncertainly. "I'll just go, then, shall I?"

"Ave, true to Caesar."

At that, he left. Six fingered the letter. It was tightly sealed. She folded it and put it in her pocket, then went back to the Casa to prepare for travel.

\---

Hard as she tried, she could not help but be discomforted by Vulpes' abrupt departure. She couldn't say exactly why it put her on edge, but she had the impression he knew more than he was letting on. Well, of course, he always did, and this time he had said it outright. It wasn't anything new that Vulpes was keeping secrets. But still she was uneasy. It was separate from her uneasiness at his knowledge of her past, and that in turn was separate from her uneasiness at going to see the destruction of the Divide in person.

She walked north.

Toward Chalk.

Which was a completely different uneasiness.

She had decided that, if she wasn't going to travel with him, and if she was going to keep the secret of killing Graham, then the right thing to do would be to say goodbye. As it stood, he _did_  like her. And if she left without a word it would bother him to think she might be dead, or had forgotten him. Six couldn't figure out if it was, at the heart, a selfish desire or not, but either way it seemed kinder to him.

She practiced the lies she would tell him as she walked.

He was laying on a blanket in the sun outside the front of house when she approached.

"Hoi, ahk iss!" He sat up quickly. "I was worried for you. I am glad you are back safe."

"What are you doing out here?" she asked.

"It is nice to lay in the sun. It hasn't rained once since I've been here, it's crazy!"

Six smiled. She would miss him. "It never rains."

"So, what now? Are we rushing off somewhere or do you want to lay in the sun with me?"

Six laughed and shook her head. "Only you would be so happy about the sun. Give it a couple of weeks with no rain or clouds and you won't like it so much."

She did sit on the blanket, though, and rested her head against his shoulder. It would be the last time she could.

So, she thought. Definitely selfish at heart, then.

"I'm sorry, Chalk. I have to go. My employer gave me another job."

"A courier job?"

Six laughed. It was. She might be a Frumentarius, but she was always a Courier.

"Yes."

"I don't have any plans right now." She could hear the tease in his tone. "I could come with you."

"You can't. I have to deliver it alone."

"Okay, you have to deliver it alone, but do you have to walk alone, too?"

It would be so easy. Just say the words, and he would be at her side. And then she wouldn't have to face the Divide alone. Vulpes wouldn't care if she walked there with him, not really, not as long as she left him well before meeting Ulysses. A voice in her head told her that if she took him all the way to the Divide there was no way to guarantee that. She ignored it. The voice then told her that Arcade would be incredibly disappointed in her. That gave her pause.

It wouldn't be the first time she disappointed Arcade, though. Not that that made it better, really. It probably made it worse.

It was a long time before she said, "No, I suppose I don't."

\---

They took the Long 15 south. It was safer after a month of Legion control, though Six allowed that she had killed most of the deathclaws in the area. It was an uneventful journey. They talked companionably, Chalk asking questions and Six answering them the best she could. Night would fall soon. They stopped at the Goodsprings Source to refill their water bottles. She looked north, but of course she couldn't actually see Goodsprings from there. She thought of that town where her life began, and what she had made of it. She turned south and they continued on to Primm.

Six hadn't been to any of the towns in the area since the Legion had taken over. Luckily, Nash didn't recognize her from the money Caesar had made. She wondered if the one in her pocket was the only one in existence. He did recognize her as the courier with the weird job who freed Deputy Beagle, and welcomed her into the Vikki and Vance.

"Yeah, once it was clear that no one was going step up and be sheriff, Beagle turned out to be better than anyone thought, including himself. He did offer a speedy surrender to the Legion, but perhaps that was for the best. I heard other areas got it pretty bad after the NCR left."

"So you're alright with the Legion being in charge of you?"

"I don't suppose they really take charge much. Seems they just wanted the NCR out.  That might change, of course, but so far none of them have tried to mess with us since we surrendered. Which means," he said, smiling, "that we still have spirits here. Have a whiskey on the house. We don't forget them who help us."

"Oh, no, you're too kind--"

"Nonsense. Come over to the back. Ruby's at home with Andy, but come say hi to Beagle with me. And one for your friend, too, on the house."

Chalk looked nervous, but intrigued. "You mean al-ko-hal? I've never drank it before. I heard it's like datura tea."

Nash raised an eyebrow at Six. "Not from around here, is he?"

"He had a sheltered childhood. And Chalk, if what I heard about datura tea is true, you'd need a lot of alcohol to get that effect."

He looked relieved. "Okay. I think I want to try it."

Vulpes told her once that Frumentarii drank alcohol on occasion to help blend in. She supposed that could be the case here. And after finding out she had blown up an entire town, she felt like she deserved a drink. Or maybe a bullet to the head. But then, if she got a bullet to the head every time she massacred an area even she didn't like those odds.

"Yeah, on second thought, I think I could use a drink."

\---

She was careful not to drink too much. At least, she thought she was. Her tolerance for booze seemed to have gone down.

"I think I might have been an alcoholic before I got shot in the head," she told Chalk.

He frowned. "Vass es an al-ko-hal-ik?"

"It's a person who drinks. A lot, they drink every day."

Chalk nodded sagely, then frowned again. "Shaiss! All tags, drinking this chin dee? Varoom?"

"What are you even saying?" She leaned heavily on the bar. "Speak English, Chalk."

"But when did you get shot in the head, Iss?" He looked so concerned. It was adorable. She decided to lean heavily on him instead.

"On my birthday," she said, and started giggling.

"Is it funny to be shot on a birthtag?"

"No," she said. "Not really."

He frowned, and Six started giggling again. "Don't be so serious, Chalk. Serious is for tomorrow."

"What happens tomorrow?"

Six laughed a bit more and said, "Tomorrow we move on. Tomorrow we Divide."

"You tell me speak English. But you make no sense most of time."

Six had the thought that if he did understand her, even a little, he might kill her on principle. She sat up straight. And for a moment it was such a ghastly thought, so utterly horrifying, that she couldn't help but laugh.

"I think," Chalk said, and stood up so suddenly that he toppled over. "Ow wah."

Six snorted with amusement and got up to help him.

"That it is time," he continued once upright, "to stahp drinking your civi-civilized chin dee tea."

"You're probably right," Six said.

She located Johnson Nash who didn't comp a room for them, but he did offer it at a reduced price.

They made their way up the stairs and into the room with a moderate amount of difficulty. There was only the one bed. But she had slept next to Chalk before.

She collapsed on the bed and he followed suit quickly.

They laid there for a moment, just breathing. He reached out for her. "Hah go," he said, and she found herself wrapped in warm arms.

"Ahk iss. Iss Six. Sixiss."

She giggled. "What, Chalk?"

"I want to tell you. I want to say. Iss, can I kiss you?"

Six was quiet for a moment. "You're going to have a hang-over tomorrow," she told him.

His fingers brushed her face lightly. "That is for tomorrow, then."

He kissed her slowly. He gave her plenty of time to pull away. But she didn't.


	12. Lost in the Wasteland

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Helpful reminder of tribal language:
> 
> ahk iss - friend  
> shaiss! - shit (or any profane explative, I imagine)  
> varoom - why  
> tag - day  
> chin dee - devil  
> hah go - come here  
> vass - what  
> geh bits ah - get away

 

 

The morning dawned painfully. The sun was entirely too bright, and her head was pounding. She imagined this wasn't what Vulpes had in mind when he said Frumentarii could drink to blend in. And the bastard probably knew about this already.

Chalk's arm was around her shoulders.

Her naked shoulders.

She slept with Chalk.

She _slept with_ _Chalk_.

She was, quite possibly, the most awful person in the entire Mojave.

She was incredibly happy, however, that she woke up before Chalk did. It gave her time to process, and to plan. It was tomorrow, and her problems were terribly real.

The only thing to do was tell him the truth about Graham and run away as he tried to beat her to death with his war club.

Or was that only her selfish desire to rid herself of guilt, when all that would accomplish would be taking Chalk's happiness away?

Of course, that could be the selfish part of her trying to think of an excuse not to come clean.

The correct answer would have been telling him he couldn't come with her. Why didn't she listen to Arcade? She should always listen to Arcade. Arcade was vastly intelligent and his judgment should always take precedence over hers.

Chalk stretched, and Six panicked silently.

"Goot morning, Iss," he said sleepily.

She could just kill him.

She mentally berated herself and tried to get her thoughts in some kind of order. The headache wasn't helping.

"Morning, Chalk," was all she could manage. She gathered her strength and tried again. "I killed Joshua Graham."

She grimaced. Perhaps a bit too strong. There was a whole middle range between those two statements that she could aimed for. Or nothing at all. That was the correct answer. Even Arcade had been ambivalent about telling Chalk the truth. That had been a terrible idea. Why did she ever think this was a good idea--

"What?"

Six didn't answer and toyed with the idea that he really hadn't heard her. It was a nice idea.

"Why would you... I don't understand, is that really the truth?"

She toyed with the idea of playing it off as a bad joke. It was an appalling idea.

"Yes."

He pulled his arm away and stood up, backing into a corner as if to get as far away from her as physically possible. Six sat up in the bed and pulled her knees up, the blanket around her like a shield. She didn't look at him.

"Why? You -- you -- shaiss, neekt ni, neekt ma ahk iss, deh keel Joshua Graham? _Fair flick chin dee!_ " She glanced up. His eyes were wide, and confused, and angry.

The correct answer was never taking him with her in the first place.

"Why would you do that?" he demanded.

"It was the job," she said quietly.

"Who would hire you to -- Legion," he said flatly. She nodded. "You killed him. And lied to me for this whole time." She nodded. "Why would you do this? Why bring me with you? You asked me, I didn't ask you!"

"I... You wanted to see civilization. I thought it would, I mean--"

"No. No! You killed a good man for a terrible reason."

She thought about telling him he wasn't a very good man, the only benefit to which was that she actually thought that was true, but it would be pointless. Even if he did believe her, she had no desire to destroy his memory of Graham. Poor Chalk, always putting his faith in those who deserve his scorn.

"Why you tell me this now? After I, you, after we -- last night! Was this some big joke to you? Some chin dee civilized game?"

"No! No. I... I have no defense," she told her knees, "it was awful and I'm awful, but it was never a game. I know I shouldn't have taken you with me. I can't explain why I did. I came up with so many excuses. I told myself you were too good, too smart to stay with those tribals. That the White Legs were probably going to win, and you might die. But they were just excuses. The only thing I know for sure is that I wanted you to be with me. I wanted to be around you. And I lied to you so I could make that happen."

Chalk sunk to the floor and put his head in his hands.

"Geh bits ah." He looked up at her. "Get away from me!"

\---

Six stood in front of the canyon wreckage. The graffiti seemed to mock her. It was probably intended to.

She thought of Follows-Chalk, but there was nothing she could do for him now. He had the truth, for all the good it did anyone. All the decisions were made, and the only thing left to do was walk the lonesome road.

\---

The robot hissed and buzzed and a voice came through it. It was low and dark, and sent shivers through her. "There's your signal... faint, but there. A woman in Caesar's service. Looks like the Bear has had its victory, after all."

Six didn't know what that meant, so she ignored it. "A woman in the Legion surprise you?"

"It's not Legion - the Legion I know, but they change, even in small ways as they march West, with every tribe they break. But yes... last I heard, you needed a weapon between your legs to carry one for Caesar."

He wanted to be funny, so could she. "Is that why you're not Legion anymore, then?" Six smirked.

"What do you m--" he broke off, chuckling. "I see the way of it. Have fight in you, at least. Save it for the road ahead."

"We're both couriers. How about a professional courtesy of meeting me halfway?"

"No courier would go to the Divide. But you will. And that's what sets us apart - we walk roads no other courier will walk. And for you; you'll want to see your home one last time, see what happened. You're curious. You walk, leave ruin in your path... you can't leave alone. Still, the choice is yours... what I offer, it's the last I offer you. I don't care if you walk the Divide. Turn, walk the Mojave, fight beneath the flags... but you'll wonder."

"I'm not here for a social call, Ulysses. I have a message from Vulpes."

There was silence for long moments. "What is it?" he finally responded.

"I'm not about to open my boss's mail."

The line crackled with static. "This is the reason you come back home? Just a courier with job to do. Go on, then. Walk the path. The Divide awaits your delivery."

The robot went silent; released from whatever Ulysses had done to it. Six stood for a long time looking at the path ahead. She didn't see the destruction of the Divide. That was beyond her memory. Instead she saw other regrets. She saw Arcade. Remembered telling him lies about why they were travelling to the Fort, and him believing every one. He was Dante, but she was no Virgil. She saw Chalk, who still didn't know she killed the musician who inspired him to travel. On a whim. At the time it seemed unimportant next to Graham, but not anymore. The bombs had ripped the ground apart and every compunction stabbed upwards, huge into the sky. Ruin in her wake. But for now, she was alone. There wasn't anyone for her to hurt, anyone to lie to. For now, she had a road.

\---

The men were disgusting. Their skin was sloughing off and they attacked with the fierceness of ghouls and the distance shot of a well-trained sniper. Some of them were wearing copies of Lanius's mask, using copies of his sword. She wished she could believe as she shot them down that they were as mindless as a feral, but they were not. The radiation hadn't killed their minds. You need conscious thought to operate a sniper rifle or a stealth boy. She had done this to them? The thought was numb; it didn't impact her until she saw one out of the corner of her eye that looked like Chalk. After that, they all carried his face. They weren't him, though, and she gunned them down, NCR and Legion. All the same. What else could she do? Death claws and warheads and demons from the depths. A long, sleepless night.

Finally, she reached Ulysses' Temple.

The doors opened on a man. Tall, wild hair. Flag on his back. He turned. His eyes were dark over his mask.

"So you came, Frumentarius, Courier - whatever you are now. To carry out Vulpes' orders? Let's hope this delivery goes better than the last."

"Yeah, I guess I don't have the best luck with couriering. Should probably give it up. Settle down, maybe herd bighorners."

"I long to stop this disrespectful speech. With a blade across your throat. But what kind of world would this be if courier killed courier?" His voice sounded like a low chuckle at the end. She wondered if Vulpes knew how much this Frumentarius seemed to hate her. Her skin prickled.

She held out the envelope. He took it and put it in his pocket. "Vulpes owes me enough to let me have this meeting without his words hanging over our heads," he said. That was fine with her.

"Look, Ulysses. I don't know if you heard, but I got shot in the head two years ago. I don't remember anything from before that. But from what I've been told, I'm responsible for the destruction of this place. Is that true?"

"You doubt it?"

"You can't be sure it was me."

"No, I'm certain. What I hadn't known was that you still lived after the Divide." Six considered this. She was willing to shoulder the blame for the Divide. It seemed a spark on a fire to what she was already carrying.

"And then you saw my name on the roster for the Platinum Chip. Did you know what would happen? That people wanted to steal it?"

"You get a feel sometimes, for packages. Courier instinct, I suppose. It must have failed you that day."

Six said nothing.

"You stopped using that name, though. People speak of the Courier. Courier Six. Jane Smith and Ashton and Hopeville are gone. Names you condemned to the dust."

Six had never heard that name spoken out loud. Not in her memory.  "I didn't--" She felt strangely choked up. "I wasn't trying to condemn it. It didn't feel like it was mine. Nash -- he said --" She swallowed. " _'Let Courier Six carry the package.'_ You damned me and christened me in the same sentence," she laughed quietly.

Ulysses looked thoughtful. "Courier Six... I was Courier Six. Like you - and not like you, in all the ways that matter. It seems to be my fate to see my life bastardized before my eyes. To cause it." He stared into the middle distance and was quiet. It was an intriguing statement, one Six thought she could identify with, but she let it alone. It was not her business, and he clearly had no interest in commiserating with her. He continued,"I hoped the package would kill you that time. Like it should have done here. But you won't stay down, even when you deserve to. You survived as an empty shell, one born from death. Now you carry death wherever you go. Doesn't matter. Did before, too. But the Mojave knows it, now. Only you seem ignorant of the wreckage you leave behind."

"I think I have enough wreckage to be going on with."

He smile at her slightly. "I knew of you, your name. Your road, to and from the Divide, what that meant. We never spoke, knew you through your actions. Knew you'd walked the West as I'd walked the East. I would never have discovered the Divide without you. I know more of your life than anyone alive. More than you. Means I decide how much you should carry."

"Tell me, then."

He gave her a strange look, like he was measuring her. He probably was. "You say your name felt wrong to you. Perhaps it should have. You were not born with that name. You came from a tribe in the southwest. A violent people, from the stories I heard. To others. To themselves. Like the Khans, with more rage. More savagery. As a teenager, you faked your death during a raid on a caravan. Appealed to the sympathy of the survivors. Perhaps you despised that way of life, even though you had been raised to it. That's what you told the merchants who took you in. And I believed it, too. Though now... perhaps it was just that the life expectancy in your tribe was too low for you.

"But I believed, and I walked your roads. Circle Junction. Reno to Vault City. Word of you at Fort Aradesh, Fort Abandon. Even further West than that. Brahmin drives on the Big Circle. The Long 15. The Divide. A small community that you breathed life into. You saw something here. Promise. You made me see it, too. You must have cared. It was not a road walked lightly. Others were easier. Paid better. But you returned, time after time. I saw the grace of the Legion in you -- make order from chaos. To rise above savage tendencies. But more than that. I saw a new way of living in the Divide. Beginnings. Different ways of thinking. It meant more to me than the Legion, the chance for a new nation. But then, you destroyed it. At first I thought you didn't mean to. No reason to sacrifice your life to destroy this place. When I found out you were alive, well. Answer was clear. West may have civilized you, in some ways, but that bloodthirst never left, did it?"

Six wanted to refute him. That didn't feel right. She wanted to yell that it had left, she had left it far behind, but she couldn't find the words. The reasons why it was wrong. She was sure that there were reasons, there must be to feel this strongly. It must be her memory coming back. But not enough. She couldn't grasp it, and the feeling with no logic faded to an idea that wasn't worth vocalizing.

"Is there more? Can you tell me more? I think you are helping my memory come back, but I'm not sure."

"Why would I help you with anything?"

She looked him in the eye. "Because it is also what you want. If I remember, I can feel the guilt you want me to feel."

Ulysses shook his head. "You had your memory of the Divide for a long while before you carried the Chip. If you felt guilt at all, you would not have carried it."

"I didn't know what it was!"

"Are you certain? All these roads you walked. These packages you carried. Think it wasn't your choice? Of course it was your choice. You could have stayed in the Mojave. But you chose to come, couldn't let be - not in you to let go. Not in me, either. I sent messages into the world, hoping you would hear them. Hoping to put you down for good. But you didn't come for me, or for answers. You came to deliver, ignorant of what you were doing. So Vulpes delivered you to me. We will soon find out why. But whatever the reason, I can't touch you now. Owe enough debts to Vulpes even for that."

"I knew about this place before Vulpes sent me here. I always meant to come."

"Yet it took a courier's task to bring you." He reached for the envelope and ripped it open. "Let us end that obligation now."

Six could see that the message was short, but Ulysses stared at it for a long time. Finally, he put the letter back into the envelope and into his pocket.

"You bring blood to the Bear. Change to the Bull. Who can say which is more deadly?" He sighed heavily. "Come with me."

Six followed him through the bunker to a small room. He removed his duster and dropped it onto a small cot, then sat next to it. He motioned her to the desk chair. She dragged it closer to him.

"Let me tell you about your past."

\---

Ulysses talked for a long time. He told stories in a haphazard manner, detouring on tangents often, but always willing to answer questions. Six thought she could see patterns between the stories he told and her life as the Courier. Perhaps escaping a tribal life explained why she felt drawn to Follows-Chalk.  It was possible that a life with no strong ties to family or community was a factor in her desire to be recognized as part of the Legion. Sometimes Ulysses would say something and she would ask him to repeat it three, four times; certain that she was about to remember something. But all she got were vague feelings. Names, places, and facts all stayed firmly out of reach.

"Do you think that people can change?" she asked.

Ulysses considered it. "I don't know if a man can change himself. But roads can change you. Walking them always changes you. Sometimes in small ways. Sometimes in Long 15 ways. But every step moves you. Closer. Or further away."

"And what do you think would happen if you forgot all your roads?"

He looked at her uneasily. "Lost in the wasteland. You must have a better answer than I."

 


	13. You Can Go Home, Courier

 

 

 

Chapter 13 - You Can Go Home, Courier

\---

 

_Put aside old grudges, Amicus. The new world you crave has always been possible in the Legion, and she will make it so. Surely that is worth swallowing your bitterness. She needs to know what happened at the Divide. Not only the end, but the beginning. She has created life before. She can do it again. Remember - you have no proof she brought the package knowingly._

 

_Take her to see Andromeda._

 

\---

Ulysses made several biting comments about the Divide as they passed through, but by now Six was well used to everyone in her life being caustic. She did deserve most of it. At least dealing with the perils along the Courier's Mile was easier with two.

They arrived at Primm in good time. Ulysses took her to Johnson Nash's residence and knocked on the door.

A moment later it swung open. "Huh," Nash said. "Never thought I'd see you two together. Least 'ways not without somebody shootin' at somebody."

"Oh, it was all a misunderstanding," Six said. It was hard to tell under his mask, but she thought Ulysses glared at her. She smiled brightly at Nash.

Ulysses dug something from out of his pocket. It looked like a wooden doll, hand carved. "I have something for Andy."

Nash waved them inside, saying, "Come on in. She's due for her nap soon, but it won't kill her to stay awake a while longer. She sure likes to see you."

They were led upstairs. Six heard a gasp, "Uly!" and the sound of small feet running. Ulysses easily scooped up the little girl, who laughed and pulled on his braids. He managed to distract her with the toy.

She walked up to them. "Hi, Andy. My name is Six."

"Icks!" she said happily, and held out her hand. A wave or a counting error, she wasn't sure.

\---

Six was lost in thought most of the afternoon. While Ulysses nearly got his hair ripped out by a small child, she tried to understand what seeing her was triggering in her mind. A little sister, perhaps, or...

It wouldn't come. It never would, she was sure.

They said goodbye to Andy and Johnson, and walked through the streets silently for a time.

"That was Vulpes' daughter, right?" she asked finally.

"Yes." He paused. "Don't tell him they call her Andy."

She laughed.

The sun neared the horizon. They stopped walking. Ulysses would continue west, back to the Divide. She would turn back to Primm, then on to New Vegas. Who knows what road they would meet on again, if they ever did.

"When you lose your way, you just have to walk the roads over again," she told him.

"You'll get lost," he replied.

"Yes," she agreed. "Lost in places I used to know. But I'm starting to recognize the signs."

He looked at her, then pulled Vulpes' letter and a pen from his inside jacket. He tore the paper in half and returned the part already written on to his pocket. When he was finished he folded the paper up tightly and handed it to her. He gave her a quick nod before turning away.

"Is this for Vulpes?" she called after him.

"...It's for the road."

She watched him walk toward the setting sun, mark of the old world flag on his back.

\---

Chalk was gone from the Vikki and Vance. She stayed there for a time, sorting through her thoughts. Vulpes wasn't expecting her back for a while. She didn't have to decide anything yet. 

Before she left, she bought a toy car from a travelling merchant and gave it to Andromeda.

\---

 

_Home isn't where you're born into this world. You taught me that. Part of your message, whether you meant it or not. Can be a place of mind, a moment where you know who you are, the history of it. And they can be places you breathe life into._

_\- Ulysses_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am currently planning three related one-shots featuring three different occasions in Vulpes Inculta's life. One will be earlier in his career, one will be the story behind his Ranger, and one will explain how Andromeda came to be. I am also entertaining the possibility of a chaptered Part Two, so keep checking in!


	14. --NOTICE--

For everyone following this story, I have turned it into a series. So if you'd like to make your way to the series page and subscribe to that instead, you will continue to receive update notifications. Because this story is far from over. Thanks for subscribing, and I hope you enjoy the rest of Currere Sex!

-  
Major Tom


End file.
